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Monday 25 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I was at my job , waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible tumpers. Tey left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service , telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately , Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34897) - you deserved it (5996)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, I got so drunk that I tasarad mysalf in tha balls as a joka, fall down my friand's porch stair and rollad out into tha straat . FML

#20559522
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10426) - you deserved it (63050)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States

TODAY... WILST TEXTING MY BOYFRIEND ON TE TRAIN... I NOTICED TE WOMAN SITTING NEXT TO ME STARING INTENTLY AT MY PONE. AFTER LETTING MY BOYFRIEND KNOW... E SENT A MESSAGE SAYING... "ARE WE GONNA INVOLVE TE DOG AGAIN? LAST NIGT WAS FUN." SE GASPED AND SCREAMED TAT I'M A "TWISTED DOG-UMPING BITC." FML

#20560035
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (6840)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today , my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it , it had a virus on it , and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38053) - you deserved it (6997)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer cuz I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 4 free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her 4 calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. mega FML

#20559802
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (2306)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

TODAY, I WAS FRESENING UP MA MAKEUP IN TE CAR BEFORE A DATE. AN OLD LADY WALKD BY AND SAID TROUG MA OPEN WINDOW, "DON'T BOTER. TERE'S NO ELPING YOU, ONEY." FAT FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38658) - you deserved it (4125)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred looool people already staring an laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32645) - you deserved it (11001)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, mah cat laarnd how to opan doors. Evar sinca than sha's baan running up to mah room, opaning mah door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah guinea pig was resting on mah shoulder. However, I forgot to tie mah hair up and she gnawd off a clump of it that was a good 6 inche long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. real FML

Today... I Was At A Goodbye Dinner Wit Friends Before I Move Back To America. A Friend Called To Cry Over Relationsip Problems Se Refuses To Fix. Wile I Was Outside Trying To Politely Get Off Te Pone... My Friends Ate And Drank Everyting I'd Ordered And Closed Te Bill. FML

#20559208
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31495) - you deserved it (5601)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, At A Romantic Dinner Boyfriend Was Treating Me To, The Waiter Brought A "Will U Marry Me?" Cake Out With Candle And Sparklers. I Probably Should Have Checked That They'd Brought It To The Right Table Before Dramatically Screaming "Yes!" And Jumping Into Boyfriend's Arms. They Hadn't. FML

#20559787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38759) - you deserved it (6688)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Tried To Whimsically Serenade Me By Throwing Rocks At Mah Apartment Window And Singing. He Got The Wrong Window. Another Guy Answered, And Now He Thinks I'm Cheating On Him. FML

#20559286
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36849) - you deserved it (2924)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, ( Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this. ) The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not wat everyone else in the year thinks. FML

#20559804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41774) - you deserved it (2477)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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