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Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you totally deserved it (54618)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5793) - you totally deserved it (161477)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7007) - you totally deserved it (103166)
On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (419410) - you totally deserved it (25293)
On 02/09/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my very conservative aunt was giving me money. She thought it would be funny to secretly stick it in my pocket like a drug deal. She ended up pulling out my pot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13155) - you totally deserved it (51054)
On 06/04/2009 at 6:40pm - money - by becauseigothigh (woman) - United States
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14229) - you totally deserved it (222079)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called my girlfriend to ask her to the movies. She declined and said she was sick and was going to sleep. Wanting to see the movie, I invited my mom and we went. My mom then pointed out my "sick" girlfriend making out with a guy. My mom threw a full bag of popcorn at her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74971) - you totally deserved it (2374)
On 06/07/2009 at 1:35am - love - by Reject3d (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 14 year old sister deleted my entire iTunes library, which had every song by The Doors, The Beatles, The Grateful Dead and the Rolling Stones, because she thought my music was "weird." She replaced it with Britney Spears, Panic at the Disco and the Jonas Brothers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67368) - you totally deserved it (5718)
On 07/08/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by kaleid0scopeEyes (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7526) - you totally deserved it (103813)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us's eyes met mine. I mouthed, "Sorry." and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be.". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42985) - you totally deserved it (7941)
On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4312) - you totally deserved it (68448)
On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my fiance brought me to his friend's house to hang out. When I got there they said they were playing cards and invited me to join. I sat down with the expectation that they were playing poker. No. They were playing Magic Cards and they thought it was COOL. My fiance plays MAGIC CARDS! FML
I agree, your life sucks (17875) - you totally deserved it (34423)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by notyourallie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my mom about my night terrors in which I am laying in a ditch with people shooting at me, and I have no ammunition to defend myself. She told me I should stop being such a whiny bitch, and to grow up and be a man. I am 20 and got back from Iraq 10 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (212439) - you totally deserved it (7176)
On 03/29/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by KSFarmBoy (man) - United States (Tennessee)
