Animals, Sex, Camping and Intimacy: Camping out

Camping out

By Baggabbles123 - 08/06/2009 23:24 - Canada

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent, causing the girl to scream and run away. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 330

You deserved it 9 320

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Same thing different taste

By Tori Pearson - 27/06/2011 04:21 - Canada

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 735

You deserved it 6 886

Outdoorsy

By Anonymous - 22/03/2012 03:21 - United States - London

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 803

You deserved it 7 222

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 277

You deserved it 9 081

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 5 205

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 334

Nice place

By Anonymous - 07/03/2021 15:01 - Australia - Clayton

Today, I experienced the perfect romantic moment as I was sitting on a hill on the beach overlooking the sunset, cuddling my girlfriend. It was abruptly ruined. How? A rat ran past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 191

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 446

You deserved it 2 928

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 777

You deserved it 4 651

By Noname - 14/03/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 848

You deserved it 11 761

By TheCerealKiller - 07/08/2012 09:19 - United States - Northridge

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 303

You deserved it 2 711

Trebek 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:27

A raccoon interrupted you getting beaver, eh?

CryingHowls 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:26

GO RACCOON!

Comments

Nissi 17

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:26

Hahah! Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

ryguy997 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 7:31

Did the racoon turn into a beaver and bite down your wood?

Filipwnage 0

Sunday 19 September 2010 12:18

LOL nice one 133.

Mental1942 6

Saturday 28 January 2012 11:22

Maybe the raccoon wasn't getting any and was jealous

CryingHowls 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:26

GO RACCOON!

_Kaylakurbstomp_ 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:27

Lol! I'm sorry, that really does suck. Thats why you shouldn't have sex in the woods, I suppose.

Trebek 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:27

A raccoon interrupted you getting beaver, eh?

anon2468 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 1:12

haha

TheDarkoprince 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:29

#4 Lmao!

llSgtScopell 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:30

Ouch! Something similar happened to me, but with a damn dog running inside. Didnt give him his favorite chew toy for 2 weeks. Get her number though, sounds like a keeper

hulamonkee 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 17:20

Sounds like a keeper?... How, Because she's cute, and puts out on the first night she's obviously a good catch? Might need to rearrange some of your priorities in the future.