FML : Your everyday life stories

buys case of Listerine

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Sick Guy - / Saturday 24 March 2018 20:30 / United States - Boynton Beach

7,000 Women Surveyed And The Results Are In: Husbands Cause Women More Stress Than Their Children

The average new family has two kids and a baby. And by baby, we mean the husband. FML.

By Nadine - / Monday 5 March 2018 22:00 /

Photographer Reverses Old Sexist Ads To Show Gender Stereotypes And The Result is Wonderful

You might be quick to say this one is an FML for men, but let’s be real. It’s been an FML for women for quite some time.

By Nadine - / Thursday 15 February 2018 22:00 /

Today, my boss tested a candidate for my current position while I was out of the office. How did I find out? I work in HR and the test results were sent to my email. The reason I was out was to have emergency surgery. Now I get to recover and job search at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Soon2beexhr - / Monday 5 February 2018 15:00 /

Today, my doctor ordered me an EKG to help my health anxiety. I have panic attacks and feel like my heart is out of rhythm, but my doctors have all told me it’s just in my head. I got the test results. I meet with the cardiologist next week to discuss surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By mybackhurts - / Sunday 4 February 2018 15:00 /

Keeping it in the family!

Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Franklin - / Thursday 1 February 2018 05:00 / United States - Fairbanks

Frugal Flyer Arrested For Wearing Multiple Layers of Clothes In An Attempt To Avoid Paying Baggage Fees

A British man visiting Iceland was caught in a pickle when he realized at once that he had not reserved baggage on his return flight,...

By Nina - / Friday 19 January 2018 17:30 / France - Paris

This Woman’s Pro-Black Sweatshirt Line Is Perfect For People Fed Up With Petty Microaggressions

Dealing with subtle racism is an FML that all minorities know well. This woman was fed up with swerving such remarks that she decided...

By Nina - / Wednesday 13 December 2017 22:00 /

Iranian Teen Undergoes 50 Surgeries And Lost 80 Lbs To Look Like Angelina Jolie And We Are Screaming At The Results!

In a span of just a few months, this young woman in Iran has gone through about 50 surgeries in order to look like her idol, Angelina...

By FML Approved - / Thursday 30 November 2017 22:00 / France - Paris

Today, my sense of smell is severely impaired by a bad cold. As a result, I inadvertently ate some highly questionable dairy. I figured this out after my roommate sniffed my yogurt and gagged, just before my bowels had their opportunity to object to my meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By lawdwhy - / Sunday 12 November 2017 22:09 /

High School Kid Guides His Computer-Clueless Mom Over Text And The Result Is A Hilarious Struggle

If you’ve never tried teaching a “digital immigrant” how to use a computer, imagine a rocket scientist explaining to you how to repair...

By Nina - / Friday 10 November 2017 00:00 /

30 Times Women Asked Out Men For The #DateChallenge and Got Brutally Shut Down

One British blogger challenged women to ask guys out and share their responses, and while the results were mostly positive, some men...

By Nina - / Thursday 2 November 2017 17:30 / France - Paris

Tinder Users Post Their Online Photos Alongside What They Actually Look Like When Swiping Tinder, And The Results Are Pretty Funny!

Tinder users usually tend to present themselves in their best light. Which sometimes means being a bit economical with the truth: a...

By Alan - / Friday 20 October 2017 17:30 / France - Paris

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years and I received our results from a DNA test. We're both very interested in history and ancestry, and wanted to see where in the world we both originated. It turns out we have the same father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By AtLeastWeCan'tHaveKids - / Monday 2 October 2017 23:45 /

34 people requested a Photoshop make-over… the results are hysterically brilliant!

James Fridman, a British lad with a great sense of humour (which most British people have) is one of the most famous Photoshop trolls...

By Kevin Carter - / Wednesday 27 September 2017 00:00 /

Today, changing the garbage in the bathroom at work resulted in a hospital visit after an incorrectly disposed used needle scraped into my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 2 September 2017 13:00 /

16 Hilarious Emoji Fails from Tinder Users Whose Emojis Totally Backfired on Them

On Tinder, there’s a lot of pressure to be clever, but not everyone is good with words. That’s why some people have decided to let...

By Nina - / Saturday 29 July 2017 02:00 /

And the FML that made you laugh the most this week is:

Anything involving the in-laws, food and theft is going to result in something like…

By Alan - / Sunday 16 July 2017 14:30 / France - Paris

Today, I spent 2 hours scrubbing puke off the dishes in the kitchen. Why? Because my moronic flatmate was dared by his equally moronic friend to drink a bottle of castor oil and then eat an entire jar of marmite. As a result, he projectile vomited all over all the dishes and left me to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By hate - / Thursday 6 July 2017 11:58 /

World

Italy

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my grandfather. That's where I tripped over a loose cord in the hallway, resulting in a fractured elbow. I ended up in the emergency room and didn't even get to see my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Monday 29 May 2017 21:00 / Italy

Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By chew toy - / Thursday 25 May 2017 11:00 / United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, the person who bullied me throughout my childhood eventually resulting in me going to therapy and switching schools became my boss. On top of that, he refers to me by the insulting nickname he called me during childhood. It's good to see that growing up hasn't changed him at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Monday 15 May 2017 20:00 /

Today, I woke up early to finish a presentation, since a co-worker insisted we have a meeting beforehand to discuss some new results. I just found out the coworker doesn't have the "new results" because he didn't do the work. It's cool, I didn't need the extra sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By OnTheVergeOfMurderings - / Monday 10 April 2017 16:00 /

Today, I spent several hours in freezing drizzle sampling and testing diesel fuel from an above ground, 10,000 gallon tank. Soaked to the bone and shivering like mad, I gave the manager the results. He said thank you and then told me I was at the wrong location. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Loserman67 - / Saturday 1 April 2017 12:00 /

Today, I got frustrated looking for jobs and decided to take a quiz on best-fitting careers. My results speak for themselves. FML

I agree, that was well spotted

You deserved it

By Naofox - / Wednesday 29 March 2017 00:00 /

Today, my new job isn't all I expected it to be. It's become clear that the previous girl didn't do her job for 6 months, which means that the international CEOs have gotten involved, and I'm the lucky winner of an in-depth internal audit as a result. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

flammaefata Say more :

OP here... Woohoo! So there is a bright side to this - my first FML got published! I'll think of all of you next week when I'm being grilled :P And yes, at least I have the benefit of not being to blame for everything that came before me. But that excuse will only last that long, and obviously I intend to be on top of all of this instead of hiding behind someone else's mistakes. Well, back...

By flammaefata - / Wednesday 8 March 2017 11:53 / South Africa