Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : asshole!

Number of results : 6

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50475) - you deserved it (23450)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (40490)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML

#10044709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10916) - you deserved it (37945)

On 04/21/2010 at 4:29pm - work - by Z88 - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34969) - you deserved it (2329)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

#1830985
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8088) - you deserved it (91276)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the phone kept ringing but there was only silence on the other line. The third time I yelled, "What the fuck is your F*ing problem asshole!? Get a life shithead!" and hung up. Then the pastor's wife called and explained that she mistakingly set her phone on mute. FML

#430302
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17790) - you deserved it (59351)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:48pm - misc - by jina (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: