Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : setting

Number of results : 53

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (2086)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned that my mother has been telling people that I need anger management. I'm not attending anger management, I'm attending therapy to aid in my recovery from abusive relationships. She doesn't understand the difference or why I find it upsetting. FML

#21330630
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28403) - you deserved it (1912)

On 01/04/2015 at 12:25pm - health - by thxmom - United States (Utah)

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

#21315641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (5845)

On 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm - misc - by not laughing anymore - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, after a few weeks of my dad setting up glue traps in the garage to trap mice, I found out what it's like to have a pigeon wander in and get its foot stuck on one. FML

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (3519)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

#21281594
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (5500)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:31am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boss changed some company calendar settings on my computer to see what they'd be like. He didn't like it, so he told me to change it back, then left. I have no idea what he changed. FML

#21263813
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218) - you deserved it (2428)

On 09/23/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML

#21164644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45165) - you deserved it (8394)

On 06/06/2014 at 2:24am - kids - by playdated - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57102) - you deserved it (5161)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

#20941693
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36856) - you deserved it (7029)

On 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm - work - by choke on a dick, sir (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55262) - you deserved it (4264)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML

#20802186
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37884) - you deserved it (3098)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by how (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64812) - you deserved it (5633)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

#20783466
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47721) - you deserved it (4024)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Sam - United States (Illinois)

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

#20775563
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (37605)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: