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FML with : when i sat down

Number of results : 10

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35718) - you deserved it (19428)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44097) - you deserved it (4419)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

#20088602
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18366) - you deserved it (2246)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:57pm - misc - by pplsuck - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML

#19487971
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22049) - you deserved it (3340) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 12:38am - misc - by Fillifilo (woman) - France

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (2721)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said "turn around" it was her. FML

#16181891
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9667) - you deserved it (64756)

On 05/15/2011 at 1:20am - misc - by marmarr - United States

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (5658)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

#5826469
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40469) - you deserved it (5118)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:00am - health - by tooflufoschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

#5021178
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56442) - you deserved it (21840)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML

#777773
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65487) - you deserved it (6903)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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