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FML with : oking

Number of results : 1064

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump. She turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

#21463826
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266) - you deserved it (21)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my grandma that I thought it actually was her. Then I remembered she died 6 months ago. I had to serve customers with a smile on my face while choking back tears for the rest of the day. FML

#21461323
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24179) - you deserved it (1731)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm - work - by myanmarkaviar (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19054) - you deserved it (8209)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

#21459115
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (3508)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm - love - by cuckoo (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31005) - you deserved it (1372)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML

#21454739
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22350) - you deserved it (4929)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:29am - love - by Frozen Food Fan - United States (Nevada)

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

#21453669
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (2209)

On 08/08/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by terrified (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was diagnosed with food poisoning for the third time since moving to this base in Japan. My husband keeps cooking questionable meat and vegetables from the commissary because he thinks the food from a Japanese grocery store is radioactive. FML

#21452616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (1690)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - health - by ithinkimturningjapanese - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (2076)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML

#21447619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10759) - you deserved it (18956)

On 07/26/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by sarah4241 - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21932) - you deserved it (3564)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I agreed to help out with my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. They forgot to inform me that "helping" meant splitting the cost of everything. I now owe his family $275. I don't know how to back out without looking cheap. FML

#21442412
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (2368)

On 07/16/2015 at 2:56am - money - by JustOutofCollegeAndBroke - United States (California)

Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (3931)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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