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FML with : opl

Number of results : 826

Today, I stopped by my local bar to maybe meet some new people. I sat in between two groups. Within a minute both groups got up and left. FML

#21382238
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1367) - you deserved it (154)

On 03/27/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by elizacandle (woman) - United States

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (3586)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (2744)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23600) - you deserved it (2408)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

#21378047
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31206) - you deserved it (4573)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm - misc - by shawnsmuffins - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally went to the doctor's about my severe anxiety. I am so used to putting on a happy performance around people that she didn't believe anything was wrong with me. FML

#21376536
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (3185)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:35pm - health - by scared - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

#21372790
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29576) - you deserved it (2130)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:50pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

#21372747
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (2540)

On 03/11/2015 at 8:36pm - work - by Matei - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

#21372460
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27262) - you deserved it (2691)

On 03/11/2015 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (6941)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML

#21367159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31973) - you deserved it (1882)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:01am - misc - by definatelynotamurderer (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (2355)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
161 comments

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (2704)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML

#21362364
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29724) - you deserved it (1660)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:19am - work - by O (woman) - Sweden



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