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FML with : opl

Number of results : 768

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10019) - you deserved it (897)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29061) - you deserved it (2076)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, my co-workers threw me a surprise 30th birthday party. After lighting sparklers on the cake and singing happy birthday, we all enjoyed a few moments of sparkly, happy fun time. Then the building's fire alarm tripped and over 200 people had to be evacuated. FML

#21259630
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29599) - you deserved it (3694)

On 09/16/2014 at 7:23pm - work - by so so old now (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

#21258420
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33426) - you deserved it (2519)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

#21252441
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32214) - you deserved it (2979)

On 09/05/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40688) - you deserved it (9448)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41201) - you deserved it (3211)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36096) - you deserved it (9393)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33575) - you deserved it (5430)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boss asked me if I could work this weekend, doing the work of 2 people, for almost no extra pay. I had a weekend out with my kids planned, so I said I couldn't. My boss called it a shitty excuse, yet gave a free pass to a guy who claimed he had a "phobia of working on weekends". FML

#21245803
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36562) - you deserved it (2203)

On 08/26/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41039) - you deserved it (3501)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38585) - you deserved it (2562)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

#21234971
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45050) - you deserved it (3298)

On 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm - work - by poorman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload pictures of two people, and it shows you what their future children might look like. She actually started crying because the kid we were shown wasn't cute enough for her liking. FML

#21232887
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34953) - you deserved it (3741)

On 08/08/2014 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)



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