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FML with : He could. FML

Number of results : 5

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26959) - you deserved it (2052)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

#20119594
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (1565)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm - health - by hurtinrealbad - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31103) - you deserved it (4106)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

#6753896
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11364) - you deserved it (34598)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML

#6336608
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15392) - you deserved it (24095)

On 11/17/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by HunniBeeHuni (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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