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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FML with : he could

Number of results : 484

Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML

#21417526
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (5611)

On 05/29/2015 at 9:04am - love - by Headless (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I asked my landlady if she could fix the air conditioner that's been broken since I moved in. Instead, she came round and took away my bathroom mirror, along with all the toilet paper. FML

#21415859
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you deserved it (1824)

On 05/26/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by meh (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the guy I broke up with for not putting any effort into the relationship asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out to lunch. He stood me up. FML

#21400557
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31375) - you deserved it (6204)

On 04/27/2015 at 10:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (3416)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was called a fascist and accused of being "racist" against poor people, all because some crazy meth-mouthed bitch couldn't afford some booze and expected me to cut the price by almost 40% so she could. FML

#21392314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (1865)

On 04/12/2015 at 11:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, it's been three months since my sister broke her car, meaning she couldn't get to work, and I've giving her money every month so she could buy food and so on. I just found out that her workplace is less than 200 metres from where she lives. FML

#21381106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28353) - you deserved it (4338)

On 03/25/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Julie - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27342) - you deserved it (2069)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML

#21377747
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (2209)

On 03/19/2015 at 12:41pm - work - by SleepIsForTheWeak (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML

#21377689
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27293) - you deserved it (2163)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:24am - health - by david99021 (man) - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

#21375599
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134) - you deserved it (3213)

On 03/16/2015 at 10:36am - love - by xswitch74 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

#21371100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32492) - you deserved it (4313)

On 03/09/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Spain (Aragon)

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

#21369892
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (2970)

On 03/07/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31569) - you deserved it (3490)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36291) - you deserved it (2419)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia



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