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Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML
Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML
Monday 1 September 2014