Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview I went to cross my legs and realized I had on 2 different shoes

Number of results : 2106

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12769) - you deserved it (802)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

#21432524
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18893) - you deserved it (5902)

On 06/26/2015 at 8:57pm - misc - by college estudiata (woman) -

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

#21432333
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (1880)

On 06/26/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Zambia

Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML

#21432147
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (2111) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/25/2015 at 8:40pm - kids - by Anonyme - France (Bourgogne)

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

#21431233
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18792) - you deserved it (3492)

On 06/24/2015 at 3:45pm - animals - by That escalated quickly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got into a fight with my mom because she believes that my fiancé is "irresponsible" and "immature". I stormed out and drove back home. There, I walked in on my fiancé and his friends. They were in a heated and almost violent argument over which CSI is the best. The wedding's next month. FML

#21430956
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20975) - you deserved it (5341)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:16am - love - by It's CSI Miami - United States (California)

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

#21429802
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21583) - you deserved it (1738)

On 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm - animals - by Angel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

#21429134
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22103) - you deserved it (17633)

On 06/20/2015 at 4:54pm - misc - by happycow122 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

#21428990
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (2383)

On 06/20/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by organizse - United States (Texas)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (11460)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

#21426994
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (2990)

On 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm - misc - by VHBJ - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

#21425871
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (4439)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - money - by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML

#21425804
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (2653)

On 06/14/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

#21424715
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25926) - you deserved it (2299)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

#21424106
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (1399)

On 06/10/2015 at 7:45pm - work - by cocoapuffs4life - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: