FML with : Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview I went to cross my legs and realized I had on 2 different shoes

Number of results : 2366

Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML

by cullenthegreat / 08/25/2016 at 12:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML

by Caqtusmonkey / 08/25/2016 at 11:28am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, while at a baseball game, I was telling my friends about my underaged drinking experience at my sister's bachelorette party. It wasn't until I was done telling the story that I realized the Dean of my college was right behind us, looking right at me. So much for a good first impression. FML

by fuckingcool / 08/18/2016 at 5:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2016 at 11:18am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML

by Felinefine / 08/15/2016 at 3:33pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Kids

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to the sound of my cat knocking things over. It wasn't until my boyfriend sat upright and checked, that I realized it actually wasn't our cat, but my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend trying to get into our second-story window. This isn't the first time she's done this. FML

by WendigogoAway / 08/15/2016 at 5:46am / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out I and a coworker may get laid off soon, all because my boss's niece told him she can do both our jobs all by herself, and for less money. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2016 at 8:24am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my former boss is threatening to keep my last paycheck until I return a skateboard that a guest forgot at the hotel about a month ago. She was the one who gave me the order to put it in the trash. FML

by touristtraphotel / 08/11/2016 at 2:58pm / Puerto Rico / Work

Today, I woke up at 3:45 am, and got ready to leave my house before 5, since I needed to be at my new job for orientation at 6. When I got there, I realized they actually meant 6 pm. FML

by SeriouslyEvery / 08/11/2016 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML

by DeepFriedZombie / 08/08/2016 at 8:18pm / Work

Today, I finally matched with someone on Tinder after using it for a month. I sent a message and they unmatched. FML

by Singleforever / 08/08/2016 at 8:40am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I went to a job interview. I really needed the job to keep my apartment. As I was being interviewed, the manager looked past me and stared off into space. There goes the job and my apartment. FML

by lulupie / 08/08/2016 at 5:10am / Work

Today, my untrained legs have been traumatised by the sudden regime of squats, mountain climbers and lunges I have been putting them through. I literally just have to trust-fall back onto the toilet and hope for the best, because my legs don't have the strength to support the gradual descent. FML

by SkipLegDay / 08/03/2016 at 4:48am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Health

Today, I got so anxious while trying to fight the ticket I got earlier this month that I passed out in front of the judge. FML

by so embarrassing / 08/02/2016 at 2:27am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, on the bus ride home from work, two women behind me kept pulling my hair. I turned around and told them to, "cut it out." When I got home, I realized they'd took it literally. FML

by TheodoreFinches / 08/01/2016 at 11:14am / United Kingdom / Transportation