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FML with : Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview I went to cross my legs and realized I had on 2 different shoes

Number of results : 1972

Today, I woke up really early to get ready for an interview. I guess it was too early because my mom thought someone broke into our house and now I have two bruised ribs. FML

#21288937
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5779) - you deserved it (430)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:05am - misc - by nopethanks - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (6792)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

#21285028
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (4218)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm - work - by not on life, that's for fucking sure (man) - United States

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33112) - you deserved it (6771)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

#21281210
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (7325)

On 10/19/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, the kids on my cross country team were planning a big surprise party for one of the girls, whose birthday is in a few weeks. It's my birthday today. FML

#21281118
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31155) - you deserved it (2118)

On 10/19/2014 at 2:19pm - misc - by forgotten (woman) - United States (California)

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

#21277907
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30284) - you deserved it (3157)

On 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - United States (South Dakota)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33579) - you deserved it (5075)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend admitted than he's been using Febreze instead of showering for the past month. FML

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

#21271391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34521) - you deserved it (4052)

On 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm - kids - by SmellyCloset (man) - United States (California)

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36815) - you deserved it (3320)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

#21269405
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36803) - you deserved it (4138)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:56am - work - by rejected - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

#21266998
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39307) - you deserved it (5268)

On 09/28/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by jquaw - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (5551)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

#21266059
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (18062)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm - love - by dumass - United States (Ohio)



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