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FML with : Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview I went to cross my legs and realized I had on 2 different shoes

Number of results : 1895

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (2482)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33142) - you deserved it (3152)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, I brought home my 3D glasses after a movie. I had a laugh about it until I realized that I put my $100 sunglasses in the recycle box outside of the theatre instead. FML

#21109576
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32111) - you deserved it (18055)

On 04/10/2014 at 4:52pm - money - by BobRyder (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37841) - you deserved it (3771)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34057) - you deserved it (5368)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39375) - you deserved it (5665)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I borrowed my friend's car to go deliver a tent I sold online. His possessive girlfriend tailed me, not knowing I was driving. She then rear-ended me when I stopped, thinking I was her man, and was cheating. When she realized the situation, she accused me of hiding him. FML

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41166) - you deserved it (2561)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37684) - you deserved it (5263)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

#21101903
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38005) - you deserved it (3249)

On 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

#21100140
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40729) - you deserved it (3307)

On 03/30/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by starfishedasshole (man) - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 4-month-old niece at the park, when a woman came up to me and said, "Don't worry, dear. You'll get your figure back soon." FML

#21098912
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37352) - you deserved it (3823)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by notamum (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45175) - you deserved it (10996)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

#21092916
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39004) - you deserved it (7021)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm - misc - by BMTH2296 (man) - United States

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35779) - you deserved it (4519)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)



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