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FML with : Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview I went to cross my legs and realized I had on 2 different shoes

Number of results : 2130

Today, driving to work, I stop to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honks their horn, so I decide to drive slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pull into the car park and notice the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML

#21450445
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7350) - you deserved it (2206)

On 08/01/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Hellasboy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19657) - you deserved it (2589)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (1328)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18792) - you deserved it (8912)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

#21448834
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22598) - you deserved it (1452)

On 07/28/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by smellslikeahangover - United States (California)

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

#21448401
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21714) - you deserved it (2526)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

#21448086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (2218)

On 07/27/2015 at 3:12pm - misc - by Not turnt - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Even though they know I don't have any money, let alone shoes on my feet, my parents have decided it's far too much trouble to come pick me up because we're on vacation and they want to have fun. FML

#21447671
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21424) - you deserved it (1563)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:47pm - health - by GreatParenting (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

#21446911
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11716) - you deserved it (20012)

On 07/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Mmm - United States (California)

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (4670)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

#21446728
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12503) - you deserved it (23356)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm - work - by suspended (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27235) - you deserved it (4717)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to go to the airport with me, to see me off for my three-month stay abroad. He said no because the two-hour drive is "too boring". FML

#21446439
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22147) - you deserved it (2084)

On 07/24/2015 at 7:58am - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

#21441519
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (1449)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML



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