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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FML with : i reali

Number of results : 1094

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (3612)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (8687)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (26866)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML

#21404700
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14645) - you deserved it (24834)

On 05/04/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realized I get more pleasure watching YouTube videos of people lighting their farts on fire than I do from making love to my husband. FML

#21403333
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25034) - you deserved it (6038)

On 05/02/2015 at 10:23am - intimacy - by wellfuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14162) - you deserved it (28949)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

#21399007
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (11858)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:09pm - misc - by Kira (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (6243)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22582) - you deserved it (16371)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I spent my last $50 to get a ticket to take my daughter out for a nice birthday dinner tonight. It wasn't until after I purchased it that I realized the restaurant isn't even open on Mondays. FML

#21388611
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (4752)

On 04/06/2015 at 12:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

#21386448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27723) - you deserved it (2491)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while at work, a guy complained about me "touching his fries." At first I thought it was a joke, because he kept smiling, even after I offered him new ones. I realized it wasn't a joke when he threw the fries on the counter. FML

#21386179
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (2098)

On 04/01/2015 at 10:04pm - work - by QueenCee - United States (California)

Today, I was talking about an essay I'd written for a class that was due to be turned in online days ago. I thought mine was well written and I'd even finished it a couple of days early so I wouldn't forget about it. After a few minutes of talking and feeling proud, I realized that I forgot to turn it in. FML



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