FML with : the time

Number of results : 227

Today, while driving, a spider crawled onto my gearstick. Not being afraid of them, I casually flicked it off. Onto the person sitting next to me. The person evaluating me for my driving test at the time, who happened to be arachnophobic. FML

by Arachnofail / 04/08/2016 at 12:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my mother drives my car. I was okay with it; I don't use it all the time and she's my mother. However, I was not okay with the multiple speeding tickets that came through in the post. "You're the registered keeper, so why should I pay?" FML

by NowBroke / 04/04/2016 at 5:38am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Transportation

Today, the coach bus I was riding almost crashed. I was using the restroom at the time. The bus braked so hard, I peed all over the wall and splashed my shirt. Nobody wanted to sit anywhere near me after that. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 9:38am / United States / Transportation

Today, I found out that whenever I text my boyfriend something cute, he texts his friends and asks what to say in his reply. Basically, I've been talking to his friends all the time. FML

by yeueid / 03/31/2016 at 6:24pm / Estonia / Love

Today, after moving back in with my parents, I found out they had held on to a chunk of mail still being sent during the time I had been changing my old address. Included was a summons to jury duty. FML

by Silentshdw13 / 03/14/2016 at 7:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend said we couldn't be friends anymore because I'm too depressed or too happy all the time. After explaining for half an hour what bipolar depression was and how I have it he just said, "Bullshit!" FML

by nobody / 02/27/2016 at 8:36pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, the company I work for lost 3-weeks worth of time sheets, so we have to fill them all out again. I don't remember what I did yesterday, let alone three weeks ago. That's why I religiously fill out the time sheets in the first place. FML

by sideeffect001 / 01/22/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (Utah) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd / 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML

by welp / 12/27/2015 at 12:08am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

Today, my family and I were going to my grandparents' for Christmas. As my car was totaled recently, I had to get a ride with them. They left without me in the time it took to put my shoes and socks on. FML

Today, I started taking my anxiety meds. Without them I can't function because I'm constantly fighting off panic attacks, but with them I can't function because I get crippling headaches and heartburn and feel tired all the time. FML

by panicked headaches / 12/07/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, at my Grandfather's funeral, my Grandmother decided it would be a good time to tell the story of the time she went to a strip club. FML

by Kisuke_Urahara / 11/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while shopping for Black Friday, I got in line, hoping to get an Xbox One. I spent so long mistakenly standing in line for the bathroom that the store had sold out by the time I realized my mistake. FML

by nitemastr15 / 11/27/2015 at 7:18pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I met new people at my dorm, only to find they already knew me because they listen to my boyfriend and me have sex all the time. FML

by dormlyfe / 09/23/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (California) / Intimacy