Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : didn't even

Number of results : 75

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

#21378741
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31422) - you deserved it (1986)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (6090)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

#21311945
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (2211)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:44am - work - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boss I'm going to quit, after months of being abused, doing meaningless work, and working late every day. I was soon given so many new projects that I didn't even have time to write my resignation letter. FML

#21291231
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28501) - you deserved it (5045)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was my dad who got me a phone charger for my car, which I didn't even need because he got me the same exact thing last year. FML

#21157939
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43477) - you deserved it (3779)

On 05/31/2014 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49829) - you deserved it (3896)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45072) - you deserved it (3159)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58070) - you deserved it (7843)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

#20974690
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37779) - you deserved it (3405)

On 11/29/2013 at 1:08pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

#20956290
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47823) - you deserved it (3867)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49797) - you deserved it (13352)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43109) - you deserved it (2891)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML

#20807824
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57209) - you deserved it (3879)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: