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FML with : ilitary

Number of results : 25

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37687) - you deserved it (4592)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (10245)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

#20905471
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34167) - you deserved it (6479)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:46pm - work - by sober judge - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a customer wanted a military discount for buying two 39 cent Slim Jims. I work at an auto parts store. FML

#20854690
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (3083)

On 08/26/2013 at 1:51am - work - by luvmypony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

#20830066
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38913) - you deserved it (5751)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML

#20530533
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36506) - you deserved it (9003)

On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (3597)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

#18524767
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28446) - you deserved it (5817)

On 12/16/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

#17862319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24023) - you deserved it (1850)

On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was photoshopped. FML

#17817952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (2424)

On 09/24/2011 at 1:20am - love - by astocks - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

#17503246
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (2534)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm - health - by sadface (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
704 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16215) - you deserved it (86922)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

#15693766
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (3304)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by jonh_215 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of six months dumped me over the phone. I'm in the military and recently had to move away to another fort. We'd agreed that we would try to make long distance work. I'd even offered to buy a plane ticket to come see her each weekend. I've been gone less than two weeks. FML

#7922927
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (2310)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:09am - love - by Crud (man) - United States (Arizona)



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