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FML with : thinks she

Number of results : 13

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (3471)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39638) - you deserved it (3880)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58786) - you deserved it (14682)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50988) - you deserved it (5376)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31412) - you deserved it (3573)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (16498)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21085) - you deserved it (4812)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

#17215427
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37053) - you deserved it (9571)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:38am - intimacy - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

#7607342
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (8307)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

#7460932
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13386) - you deserved it (30068)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by showerpower (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I told my sister that I thought I was pregnant, and that she was the only person I had called. Immediately after I hung up the phone I got a text saying, "OMG my sister thinks she's pregnant!" FML

Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML

#4055468
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48786) - you deserved it (5686)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm - kids - by loserwithlice (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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