FML with : between my le

Number of results : 14

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone fell through just as I crushed my own balls with my legs. FML

by MedChew / 10/30/2015 at 1:01pm / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Health

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 5:06am / United States / Animals

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

by scumbag i guess / 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

by stitchesupmyass / 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while lying in bed with my fiancé, we were talking about how we'd rather die, if given a choice. I said, "I want to die in my sleep next to you." His response? "It'd be sexier if you were on top of me with your face between my legs." Cute, honey. FML

by legwarmer / 12/31/2010 at 2:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I tried giving myself a bikini wax for the first time, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do it right. Now I'm laying on my couch with a wet rag and ice inbetween my legs. FML

by HaleyDrew08 / 06/25/2010 at 11:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at the McDonalds drive-thru getting my morning coffee, when some guy slammed into the back of my car. I'm so happy I was holding the cup between my legs at that very moment, because now I have 2nd degree burns on my lady parts. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 2:02pm / Germany (Bayern) / Transportation

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

by webperson04 / 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2009 at 1:11am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

by Broken / 06/17/2009 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

by hdat / 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy