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FML with : myself out

Number of results : 38

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

#21336053
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by downinthedumps - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22652) - you deserved it (33365)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44068) - you deserved it (9929)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

#21120721
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34742) - you deserved it (12601)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:54am - misc - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47373) - you deserved it (8835)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (6038)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

#20153207
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9017) - you deserved it (19883)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

#20060053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6900) - you deserved it (24584)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:39am - misc - by ohhhemmgee - United States (Nevada)

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

#19682386
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20975) - you deserved it (2239)

On 05/26/2012 at 7:06am - kids - by Never Work With Animals or Children (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML

#18520175
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32320) - you deserved it (5603)

On 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by 2285morgan - United States

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17666) - you deserved it (5326)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (10411)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18809) - you deserved it (4003)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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