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FML with : they go

Number of results : 41

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43701) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

#21131413
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45083) - you deserved it (22538)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by PCJJacket - United States (California)

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

#21047196
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36482) - you deserved it (12224)

On 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
165 comments

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39225) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML

#20783919
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47172) - you deserved it (8328)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:46am - misc - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a big job interview. Eventually, the guy subtly enquired about my political beliefs. He seemed pretty laid-back and cool, so I told him, at which point he just chuckled and told me to leave. When I threatened to report him, he just said, "Who're they gonna believe, you or me?" FML

#20769050
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41608) - you deserved it (7492)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by touche :/ (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25056) - you deserved it (48113)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

#20067220
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33590) - you deserved it (2604)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

#18884912
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (1733)

On 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Sadfaic (man) - United States

Today, I got a round brush stuck in my hair so badly that I couldn't get it out for 45 minutes, and had a panic attack. I had to drive through town with a brush dangling from my head, to the hair salon, and listen to them laugh while they got it out. FML

#18394314
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21065) - you deserved it (8156)

On 11/30/2011 at 2:25pm - misc - by maggie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents asked me if I would dog-sit for them while they go to my ex's wedding. FML

#17864370
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31017) - you deserved it (2506)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by littlepsychgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36887) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

#17343796
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27050) - you deserved it (4703)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm - work - by ImScrewed (man) - United States (California)



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