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FML with : arriage

Number of results : 122

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36322) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33071) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30662) - you deserved it (3244)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

#21298977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31416) - you deserved it (3184)

On 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm - love - by overseasbummer - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49049) - you deserved it (3472)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

#21284911
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41427) - you deserved it (3191)

On 10/25/2014 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

#21272255
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35468) - you deserved it (3666)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker told me that my other co-worker is in the process of getting a divorce. I got really excited because his marriage is very toxic. He overheard me say, "He deserves that divorce!" I meant it in a good way, but I don't think he took it that way. FML

#21268618
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (10379)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:20pm - work - by oopsydaisy (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

#21265851
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36333) - you deserved it (3573)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by ihateguys (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (2875)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (2833)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (3096)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59659) - you deserved it (5697)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (13019)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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