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FML with : would help

Number of results : 12

Today, I had a big final project due for class. None of my project partners would help me yesterday, because they were convinced we'd have a snow day. Unfortunately, we didn't have a snow day, and we failed. FML

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (3205)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46859) - you deserved it (9468)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (5634)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (2614)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML

#19528720
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19251) - you deserved it (2208)

On 04/25/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by horselover7766 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (2344)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML

#15841509
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11530) - you deserved it (35629)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

#6193403
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (4486)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Blondegirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because I'm in the military and I'm gone too much. The reason I enlisted in the first place is because we agreed that the money and benefits I would earn would help us be able to start a family in the future. FML

#5703521
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (3412)

On 10/07/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML

#2436304
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56416) - you deserved it (4112)

On 05/30/2009 at 3:50pm - health - by quietdown (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled over to help a girl with her car. I thought my limited mechanic skills would help look like a hero. She only needed her coolant cap unscrewed. With top down, shirt off, I was confident as I got out of my car. 10 minutes later I left because I couldn't unscrew the f***ing thing. FML

#1249093
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11347) - you deserved it (58269)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by edhalen (man) - United States



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