Submit your FML story
- - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
- - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
FML with : directly
Number of results : 68
Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML
Today, as I was laying in bed in my dark room, with only my phone's light on, a huge moth flew around it and directly into my open mouth. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is a pro at pooping directly in shoes. FML
Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML
Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML
Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML
Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML
Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML
Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML
Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML