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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FML with : directly

Number of results : 72

Today, I made a typo in a line of code, bringing the company website down. Our admin was already pissed about having to work over Christmas, and he started yelling at me and ended up punching my supervisor when he got between us. Pretty sure my screw up indirectly got the poor guy fired. FML

#21507378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (3046)

On 12/24/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by Kat - Australia

Today, I got a concussion at work. Our resident schizophrenic decided to test how gravity worked by dropping a torch over the bannister directly onto my head. I'm still seeing stars. FML

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

#21424815
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27100) - you deserved it (2028)

On 06/12/2015 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML

#21420204
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26019) - you deserved it (2071)

On 06/03/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by dump truck hater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (3138)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

#21377103
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/18/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by fuck (man) - Netherlands

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34419) - you deserved it (4381)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was laying in bed in my dark room, with only my phone's light on, a huge moth flew around it and directly into my open mouth. FML

#21285341
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (5332)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:47pm - misc - by j_portal - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (4219)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my dog is a pro at pooping directly in shoes. FML

#21257810
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36947) - you deserved it (3816)

On 09/13/2014 at 11:38pm - animals - by new dog - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

#21253662
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37792) - you deserved it (3684)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

#21235533
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42672) - you deserved it (3241)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:34am - health - by vicious_fashion (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML

#21162381
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46531) - you deserved it (4232)

On 06/04/2014 at 1:07am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45494) - you deserved it (3721)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40534) - you deserved it (10924)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)



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