FML with : I jumped in

Number of results : 11

Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML

by NotYourToy / 01/27/2016 at 2:59am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML

by fuck the man-dominated construction business / 06/19/2013 at 12:18pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

by theydidsmellitthough / 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 9:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML

by HorcruxDelight73 / 05/26/2012 at 7:00pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

by CantPublish / 01/14/2012 at 10:07pm / United States / Health

Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML

by Robyn / 10/04/2011 at 5:35am / Ireland / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

by GuardOtto / 07/22/2010 at 10:48am / United States / Work

Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML

by Chris / 01/11/2010 at 8:43am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous