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FML with : my wife and

Number of results : 63

Today, my wife and I are about to move across the country when the landlord for our new house called and said a water line busted and flooded the house. The movers are coming tomorrow. FML

#21317549
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (1914)

On 12/14/2014 at 9:07pm - misc - by BFons - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife and I drove two hours from our rural town to buy a new sofa. When we got home, it took us an hour to figure out there was no way to fit it through our door. We made the two hour drive back to return it, only to find the store was closed. FML

#21308507
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29285) - you deserved it (9101)

On 11/30/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by davy0540 - United States

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35404) - you deserved it (3692)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

#21298977
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32739) - you deserved it (3573)

On 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm - love - by overseasbummer - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML

#21267195
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (734) - you deserved it (4524)

On 09/28/2014 at 6:55pm - love - by superman21 - Ireland

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

#21266059
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (18187)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm - love - by dumass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

#21073474
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54729) - you deserved it (4180) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/27/2014 at 7:32pm - love - by Maxime (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53617) - you deserved it (11407)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47169) - you deserved it (7206)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (54678)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

#20892563
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35722) - you deserved it (5535)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:48am - kids - by numbnuts (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

#20786212
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58485) - you deserved it (8228)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm - love - by ronnieG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44245) - you deserved it (3285)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (2357)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)



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