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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Number of results : 167

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

#21462073
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21553) - you deserved it (3003)

On 08/29/2015 at 10:06am - misc - by Lord Buttfuck IV (man) - France

Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying: "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML

#21454260
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (1997)

On 08/10/2015 at 11:35am - love - by butchapparently (woman) -

Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML

#21453691
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (2121)

On 08/08/2015 at 11:53pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with food poisoning for the third time since moving to this base in Japan. My husband keeps cooking questionable meat and vegetables from the commissary because he thinks the food from a Japanese grocery store is radioactive. FML

#21452616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (1690)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - health - by ithinkimturningjapanese - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

#21439553
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (1595)

On 07/10/2015 at 1:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around the corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced him self to me as the head manager. FML

#21439023
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21902) - you deserved it (4103)

On 07/09/2015 at 1:02pm - work - by notsogoodtrainee - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to my neighbor's funeral, with whom I had been good friends with for a long time. When I asked her husband why, he said, "We have a small amount of money and can't afford for you to eat all of the refreshments." FML

#21424589
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (2872)

On 06/11/2015 at 5:04pm - health - by DUFF - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a couple asked me donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

#21410986
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36283) - you deserved it (2070)

On 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML

Today, the guy I broke up with for not putting any effort into the relationship asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out to lunch. He stood me up. FML

#21400557
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (6220)

On 04/27/2015 at 10:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

#21346172
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (2219)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm - misc - by John Doe (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34666) - you deserved it (4621)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML

#21289648
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/01/2014 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41772) - you deserved it (6355)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)



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