FML with : forni

Number of results : 15

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

by jumanji / 03/23/2015 at 7:19pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the police station to find out if the tint on my new car's windshield was too dark. The officer took one look, told me that windshield tints are illegal in California, and ticketed me. So much for being honest. FML

by tanisLX / 10/25/2014 at 5:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

by un_christmas / 12/25/2012 at 1:41am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Love

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

by smh / 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I moved to California. Too bad the rest of my belongings didn't. FML

by tomoxishigaki / 11/16/2011 at 8:32pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I flew to California to visit my younger sister at college. When I got to her house, her boyfriend looks at her and says, "Shes not THAT ugly." FML

by annonymus / 10/22/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

by Sarahfizzeller / 05/26/2010 at 4:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I bought a $3000 HD camera. It never shipped to my house, so I was concerned. I then realized I had given the seller the address for a house in California. I live in Maine. FML

by musicgod123 / 12/29/2009 at 11:56am / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

by axsmith01 / 08/21/2009 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was on an airplane back from California. I decided to check out my new $1500 MacBook that I bought the day before. My son decided to projectile vomit all over me, my new computer, and my bag. None of it got on him. FML

by New computer / 08/08/2009 at 1:27am / Transportation

Today, my car was impounded because I never registered it in California after moving here. In order to get it back, I need to register it. In order to register it, I need to pass a CA smog check. In order to pass the smog check, I need my car. FML

by nicklesg / 06/23/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, while working at a certain California theme park in full costume, I was approached by a kid in line, who looked at me and exclaimed, "Hey look, its Indiana Jones!" which felt pretty amazing. His sister, who was maybe seven years old, glanced over at me and said, "No, he's way too fat." FML

by paperbagofdoom / 05/29/2009 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Work