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FML with : head

Number of results : 703

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

#21400980
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (2065)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:24am - health - by vomitgirl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (7014)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States

Today, I did the smart thing and bought an umbrella before walking to work. My efforts proved useless when a truck ran through a huge puddle and drenched me from head to toe. My underwear was still wet 4 hours later. FML

#21389865
50 comments

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24252) - you deserved it (7535)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24936) - you deserved it (67)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22743) - you deserved it (15287)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, I tried a new hairstyle to impress a guy I like. I was pretty confident, until he took one look at me and said, "Uh... why's there an onion on your head?" So much for that. FML

#21376359
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155) - you deserved it (5295)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:25pm - love - by RS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (209) - you deserved it (47864)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32352) - you deserved it (4783)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at work copying some papers. The copier is below a shelf with lots of paper and signage, which suddenly flew off the hinge and hit me in the head as well as the copier. My boss ran in, asking, "Is the copier okay?" FML

#21356994
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (2120)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by LP - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36576) - you deserved it (5085)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right into my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML

#21352523
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36861) - you deserved it (2076)

On 02/09/2015 at 1:23am - health - by wellalrightythen - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33708) - you deserved it (2960)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -



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