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FML with : head

Number of results : 716

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

#21434878
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (1549)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

#21432396
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24933) - you deserved it (2439)

On 06/26/2015 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

#21431146
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (1563)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by zaynemaliksvagina (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24910) - you deserved it (2054)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (5967)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

#21424815
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (1773)

On 06/12/2015 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got kicked out of McDonalds for "skating" on the floor. The skating was actually me slipping on the wet floor and smacking my head into a table then getting bitched at for leaving blood on the floor. FML

#21420967
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31516) - you deserved it (2296)

On 06/04/2015 at 11:01pm - misc - by jared576 -

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

#21413444
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (10299)

On 05/21/2015 at 8:22am - health - by crossfitter -

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30585) - you deserved it (2003)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21680) - you deserved it (10489)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking my dog through a park with a lake. My dog was swimming in said lake, and then appeared to be having trouble keeping his head up. I put my phone and keys on the ground and waded to my dog. He was fine, but I turned around in time to see someone run off with my stuff. FML

#21409745
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (2957)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by PrinceOfBritain - United States (Virginia)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

#21406759
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25742) - you deserved it (3242)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32454) - you deserved it (5354)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

#21400980
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (2075)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:24am - health - by vomitgirl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27651) - you deserved it (7057)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States



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