Submit your FML story
- - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
- - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
FML with : bra
Number of results : 640
Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML
Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML
Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML
Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML
Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML
Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML