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FML with : bra

Number of results : 751

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

#21320480
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (2448)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat and tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're being acquired by another company and that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

#21319043
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26872) - you deserved it (1811)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML

#21317204
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30255) - you deserved it (4088)

On 12/14/2014 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (6132)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (3025)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

#21299775
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (2681)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:41pm - misc - by SeaBind - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34957) - you deserved it (4910)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

#21295903
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (5721)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

#21295699
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (6237)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I forgot my library book on a bench then I got on a bus, so I got off at the next stop and walked back to get it. I arrived just in time to see some guy pick it up and hop on another bus. So now I'm not on the bus I needed, and I have to pay for the book. FML

#21292812
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (3863)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:02pm - misc - by Loverscry (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4457)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24344) - you deserved it (32179)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34687) - you deserved it (7754)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (3049)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (15635)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)



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