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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FML with : bra

Number of results : 759

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4986) - you deserved it (492)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

#21351119
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26624) - you deserved it (4183)

On 02/06/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by go fuck myself - United States (Florida)

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (4612)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got banned from my school library after I ran after a guy who stole my bag. FML

#21337080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28643) - you deserved it (1783)

On 01/14/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by Skazzy3 (man) -

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29858) - you deserved it (6108)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (5893)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31584) - you deserved it (2979)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

#21320480
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31636) - you deserved it (3995)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat and tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're being acquired by another company and that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

#21319043
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30024) - you deserved it (1974)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML

#21317204
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32232) - you deserved it (4173)

On 12/14/2014 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (6147)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36002) - you deserved it (3047)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

#21299775
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (2684)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:41pm - misc - by SeaBind - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (5365)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)



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