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FML with : bra

Number of results : 729

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25766) - you deserved it (40954)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41874) - you deserved it (4302)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45911) - you deserved it (3957)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, I couldn't find my vibrator. After searching for an hour I decided to ask my husband. He quickly shook his head no. We've been married for ten years. I know when he's lying. FML

#21190761
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40272) - you deserved it (8455)

On 06/27/2014 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42382) - you deserved it (13245)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML

#21179309
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (6037) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/18/2014 at 9:42am - misc - by cheap - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45100) - you deserved it (4252)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

#21173002
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44563) - you deserved it (6724) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm - health - by BrefODM (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my two cats decided to have a brawl on top of me. I was just trying to get to sleep. Now I'm covered in scratches. FML

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44782) - you deserved it (6809)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34782) - you deserved it (8478)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47014) - you deserved it (5433)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)



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