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FML with : pot

Number of results : 470

Today, I was called a "Potato" for at least the 30th time by people online for living in Idaho. I've lived here my whole life, I have yet to see a potato farm. None of these people has even left the East Coast. FML

#21524651
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13735) - you deserved it (1611)

On 02/10/2016 at 12:08am - misc - by ApparentlyaPotato (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

#21514487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (1497)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:10pm - misc - by Mellamononeyobiz (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

#21511081
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17832) - you deserved it (1662)

On 01/03/2016 at 5:42pm - health - by yankesik (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML

#21502057
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20980) - you deserved it (1557)

On 12/09/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

#21498753
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22207) - you deserved it (1467)

On 11/30/2015 at 10:52pm - health - by ugh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while bench pressing at the gym, I noticed my spotter had spit hanging from his mouth right above me. When I tried to warn him about it, he ignored me and told me to finish the set. When the drool fell in my mouth, I was startled and dropped the 175 weights and bar on my chest. FML

#21494505
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22539) - you deserved it (2020)

On 11/19/2015 at 5:00pm - misc - by Me - United States (California)

Today, my parents found out that my younger brother has been smoking pot. As his punishment, he can't be home alone anymore. And apparently, I'm now his full-time babysitter since I "don't have a life anyway." FML

Today, while walking to my flat, I spotted something white hanging over the handle bar of my parked bike. It was a very used diaper. FML

#21489324
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21592) - you deserved it (1330)

On 11/06/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I now need to include in my prerequisites for a potential date, "Must not pull a knife out on one of my guy friends for hugging me." I'm so done with online dating. FML

Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML

#21484236
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22511) - you deserved it (3294)

On 10/25/2015 at 3:00pm - health - by dancincherrychic - United States (California)

Today, as I tried to parallel park at a busy spot downtown, a group of teens jumped in front of my car and started a slow clap. FML

#21482971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21659) - you deserved it (2667)

On 10/22/2015 at 12:46pm - misc - by moonbears - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

#21482960
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (2608) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2015 at 9:08am - work - by Oli974 - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

#21482519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (3448)

On 10/21/2015 at 8:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, according to daycare, my son is behind in his potty training curriculum because we are not "celebrating his natural bodily functions" enough. He turned 2 a week ago, and he peed on our bed last night because we're trying to meet this demand. FML

#21481731
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (2842)

On 10/19/2015 at 6:15am - kids - by NotThePotty - United States (California)



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