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FML with : pot

Number of results : 433

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML

#21415477
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14612) - you deserved it (3922)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (2449)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25684) - you deserved it (1856)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16806) - you deserved it (42246)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

#21387075
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24809) - you deserved it (3297)

On 04/03/2015 at 3:05pm - misc - by HtotheFtotheS - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

#21381127
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27702) - you deserved it (2388)

On 03/25/2015 at 2:26am - kids - by ILoveLamps (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (2454)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I didn't get the promotion I interviewed for at work. A guy who's worked here for only two months did. My supervisor's reason: she doesn't think I'm going to amount to anything. I work at Home Depot to pay my way for college. FML

#21369624
62 comments

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

#21368765
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (2211)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:26pm - work - by phishy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. They spent five minutes explaining job duties and I listened with anticipation. Then they spent five minutes explaining why I wasn't the right person for the job. FML

#21367505
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (1936)

On 03/03/2015 at 7:28pm - work - by Kali (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML

#21361977
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29922) - you deserved it (5017)

On 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch (woman) - United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML

#21353086
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28144) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/09/2015 at 11:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30441) - you deserved it (3305)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep curling my bangs. I now look like Mrs. Potato head. FML

#21345701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17517) - you deserved it (11228)

On 01/28/2015 at 5:20pm - misc - by WildShortstop13 - United States (South Dakota)



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