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FML with : pot

Number of results : 397

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

#21244497
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (4802)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm - work - by fucked - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41103) - you deserved it (15458)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

#21236566
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39583) - you deserved it (4518)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

#21230545
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35205) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/05/2014 at 11:35pm - work - by ditched - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I wandered through the streets of an unfamiliar city, I spotted a cop and darted across the street to ask for assistance. He kindly gave me directions as he wrote me out a citation for jaywalking. FML

#21230350
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36375) - you deserved it (8821)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:46pm - misc - by spekledworf (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

#21227795
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37278) - you deserved it (4262)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

#21215497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40953) - you deserved it (2770)

On 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48068) - you deserved it (6017)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51947) - you deserved it (4723)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML

Today, after my bosses excitedly told me I'm getting promoted to customer service at our grocery store, a customer called me an idiot in the parking lot for accidentally backing into the shopping cart she left in my blind spot. And so it begins. FML

#21146606
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36566) - you deserved it (4951)

On 05/20/2014 at 7:50pm - work - by Helpful Smile - United States (Iowa)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (3451)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML

#21128606
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25764) - you deserved it (43440) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/01/2014 at 11:13pm - misc - by mac cayne - France (Alsace)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37874) - you deserved it (3207)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38583) - you deserved it (4343)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)



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