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FML with : pot

Number of results : 427

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

#21381127
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24608) - you deserved it (2188)

On 03/25/2015 at 2:26am - kids - by ILoveLamps (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28686) - you deserved it (2388)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I didn't get the promotion I interviewed for at work. A guy who's worked here for only two months did. My supervisor's reason: she doesn't think I'm going to amount to anything. I work at Home Depot to pay my way for college. FML

#21369624
62 comments

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

#21368765
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (2043)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:26pm - work - by phishy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. They spent five minutes explaining job duties and I listened with anticipation. Then they spent five minutes explaining why I wasn't the right person for the job. FML

#21367505
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27761) - you deserved it (1934)

On 03/03/2015 at 7:28pm - work - by Kali (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML

#21361977
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29869) - you deserved it (5009)

On 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch (woman) - United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML

#21353086
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28052) - you deserved it (4989)

On 02/09/2015 at 11:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (3294)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep curling my bangs. I now look like Mrs. Potato head. FML

#21345701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (11212)

On 01/28/2015 at 5:20pm - misc - by WildShortstop13 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

#21342099
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32261) - you deserved it (2660)

On 01/22/2015 at 4:02am - health - by shifala (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

#21330412
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31535) - you deserved it (1919)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:46am - work - by gothicvamp93 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for my Christmas bonus at work, I got a potted plant and some lotion. FML

#21322774
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (2579)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:58pm - work - by whut - United States

Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML

#21322225
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (2146)

On 12/22/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

#21318499
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29855) - you deserved it (2125)

On 12/16/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by shit_fer_luck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36970) - you deserved it (4336)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)



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