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FML with : toothbrush

Number of results : 48

Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML

#21497006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23035) - you deserved it (1483)

On 11/26/2015 at 10:20am - misc - by WellGroomed (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

#21467535
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (4495)

On 09/12/2015 at 4:11am - health - by dammit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML

#21466140
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20827) - you deserved it (1717)

On 09/08/2015 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (2096)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (3786)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (2701)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33461) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37983) - you deserved it (3212)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

#21175255
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47560) - you deserved it (5943)

On 06/15/2014 at 7:10am - love - by ToddlersWife - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

#21040204
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56418) - you deserved it (5200)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45893) - you deserved it (14091)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45497) - you deserved it (4140)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)



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