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FML with : toothbrush

Number of results : 45

Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27974) - you deserved it (1923)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30827) - you deserved it (3745)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (2350)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32425) - you deserved it (2460)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37372) - you deserved it (3171)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

#21175255
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45126) - you deserved it (5730)

On 06/15/2014 at 7:10am - love - by ToddlersWife - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

#21040204
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55405) - you deserved it (5123)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45113) - you deserved it (13816)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44713) - you deserved it (4082)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53020) - you deserved it (9839)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML

#20450824
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17731) - you deserved it (32295)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother told me that my dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth, her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML

#20127529
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (1579)

On 10/21/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by smdh - United States



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