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FML with : masturbating

Number of results : 68

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Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47180) - you deserved it (3619)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24857) - you deserved it (54681)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41984) - you deserved it (3120)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

#20427916
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (8089)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (7312)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19451) - you deserved it (2465)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

#19890601
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5698) - you deserved it (21327)

On 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17459) - you deserved it (1057)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18395) - you deserved it (10961)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15326) - you deserved it (4975)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (6229)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28499) - you deserved it (2406)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

#19277377
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9842) - you deserved it (18531)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10577) - you deserved it (35205)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (17084)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States



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