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FML with : poop

Number of results : 95

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

#21390484
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (6402) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2015 at 1:28am - kids - by Insanity - France (Centre)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (2314)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (2438)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (2662)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

#21355144
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (2716) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/13/2015 at 1:44am - love - by lilipalmer (woman) - France

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

#21318557
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29895) - you deserved it (6980)

On 12/16/2014 at 2:26pm - misc - by privatebathroomneeded - United States (California)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (4238)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36779) - you deserved it (3482)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40638) - you deserved it (7378)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41235) - you deserved it (5541)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45937) - you deserved it (9454)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42405) - you deserved it (11461)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40529) - you deserved it (2528)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)



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