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FML with : vibrator

Number of results : 46

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, I couldn't find my vibrator. After searching for an hour I decided to ask my husband. He quickly shook his head no. We've been married for ten years. I know when he's lying. FML

#21190761
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41859) - you deserved it (8579)

On 06/27/2014 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43905) - you deserved it (13750)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, I'm babysitting two 6 year old kids. One of them won't stop screaming, and the other kid found his mom's vibrator and won't stop playing spaceship with it. The parents will be home in an hour. FML

#21157917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40455) - you deserved it (4912)

On 05/31/2014 at 2:40am - kids - by moomanjohnny - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56190) - you deserved it (8639)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40882) - you deserved it (10303)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55665) - you deserved it (23197)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52799) - you deserved it (15723)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44651) - you deserved it (8828)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51944) - you deserved it (17653)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33495) - you deserved it (4153)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18101) - you deserved it (50089)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31904) - you deserved it (2316)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

#19920264
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23560) - you deserved it (1496)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)



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