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FML with : vagina

Number of results : 72

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11267) - you deserved it (18397)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (2556)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (3224)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32847) - you deserved it (2395)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML

#21403711
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (3001)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

#21390758
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28201) - you deserved it (4623)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33096) - you deserved it (5098)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45902) - you deserved it (3349)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (5043)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (3314)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2998)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

#21308358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (2942)

On 11/29/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by justawallflower - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41395) - you deserved it (12420)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40548) - you deserved it (18353)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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