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FML with : spider

Number of results : 112

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (8211)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

#21453669
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (2209)

On 08/08/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by terrified (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (9790)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

#21445902
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (1807)

On 07/23/2015 at 9:05am - animals - by dirtbikeguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (11971)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16767) - you deserved it (23263)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119) - you deserved it (4933)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36987) - you deserved it (2471)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

#21347765
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27445) - you deserved it (2744)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:13pm - health - by Why's it so cold in here? - United States

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33764) - you deserved it (4324)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

#21302674
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33341) - you deserved it (2973)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44179) - you deserved it (3485)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

#21291439
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (5237)

On 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by Not A Pervert - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22302) - you deserved it (29961)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44656) - you deserved it (3591)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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