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FML with : spider

Number of results : 106

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8) - you deserved it (4840)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35508) - you deserved it (2263)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

#21347765
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25925) - you deserved it (2418)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:13pm - health - by Why's it so cold in here? - United States

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (4046)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

#21302674
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31201) - you deserved it (2608)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43217) - you deserved it (3408)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

#21291439
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33456) - you deserved it (5172)

On 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by Not A Pervert - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (28021)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42786) - you deserved it (3192)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (17380)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

#21167015
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43869) - you deserved it (6271)

On 06/08/2014 at 11:10am - love - by eightleggedtictac - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52577) - you deserved it (13404)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

#21007608
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41926) - you deserved it (5435)

On 12/27/2013 at 8:37pm - animals - by eyes wide SHIT (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57069) - you deserved it (4851)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States



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