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FML with : pregnant

Number of results : 342

Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML

#21379171
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (2276)

On 03/21/2015 at 10:27pm - health - by ellabellabooboo - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8) - you deserved it (8)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36516) - you deserved it (2395)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5) - you deserved it (2413)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML

#21359797
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35155) - you deserved it (2397)

On 02/20/2015 at 12:56pm - work - by blahblah1993 - United States (Texas)

Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

#21356993
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (2250)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34774) - you deserved it (2085)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36911) - you deserved it (2604)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39920) - you deserved it (2221)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

#21322698
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (3908)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:32pm - love - by both are dimwitted - United States (California)

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32475) - you deserved it (3763)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28112) - you deserved it (7125)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -



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