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FML with : pregnant

Number of results : 339

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17055) - you deserved it (1159)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML

#21359797
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (2391)

On 02/20/2015 at 12:56pm - work - by blahblah1993 - United States (Texas)

Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

#21356993
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31806) - you deserved it (2023)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (3405)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36650) - you deserved it (2590)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39861) - you deserved it (2217)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

#21322698
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37394) - you deserved it (3903)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:32pm - love - by both are dimwitted - United States (California)

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28362) - you deserved it (2299)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (3758)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (7121)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -

Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long 12 hour drive. FML

#21302111
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31355) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/19/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by honeybunny - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35021) - you deserved it (3427)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML

#21295090
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32892) - you deserved it (4208)

On 11/08/2014 at 11:06pm - kids - by NoBabies - United States (Arizona)



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