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FML with : pregnant

Number of results : 330

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28143) - you deserved it (2290)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32312) - you deserved it (3749)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you deserved it (6594)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -

Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long 12 hour drive. FML

#21302111
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30604) - you deserved it (2600)

On 11/19/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by honeybunny - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34871) - you deserved it (3416)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML

#21295090
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32775) - you deserved it (4203)

On 11/08/2014 at 11:06pm - kids - by NoBabies - United States (Arizona)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40181) - you deserved it (3419)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34547) - you deserved it (2154)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

#21288954
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (2450)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by kimmykins27 (woman) - United States

Today, my husband told me he cheated on me two years ago with his ex-fiancée. In the process, he got her pregnant, but said it was okay, because she didn't keep it. FML

#21284646
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37920) - you deserved it (2602)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37814) - you deserved it (5923)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (4996)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (8797)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

#21265944
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (6088)

On 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by 19collegestudentandpregant - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

#21265641
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39284) - you deserved it (5084) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonyme (woman) - France (Lorraine)



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