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FML with : pregnant

Number of results : 315

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (4160)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

#21259449
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34383) - you deserved it (4144)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (3469)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50446) - you deserved it (9714)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

#21241143
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42972) - you deserved it (5925)

On 08/19/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by Xbieblette51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML

#21232311
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40575) - you deserved it (3142) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/08/2014 at 12:27am - kids - by mamagelmane (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML.

#21228356
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43790) - you deserved it (5800)

On 08/03/2014 at 11:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50564) - you deserved it (6622)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49088) - you deserved it (4736)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

#21188382
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35344) - you deserved it (22189)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Roy Lawson - United States (California)

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

#21176835
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45489) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm - misc - by FMeeee (woman) - Portugal (Aveiro)

Today, I'm 5 weeks pregnant and just found out that my boyfriend has such a phobia of holding babies, that he's going to be the one most in need of a diaper change when I give birth. FML

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45703) - you deserved it (5285)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38890) - you deserved it (9262)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

#21130777
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39854) - you deserved it (5409)

On 05/04/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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