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FML with : pregnant

Number of results : 388

Today, I found out my insurance company denied my claim because they had me marked down as "male" and yet also pregnant. I now have to prove to them that I'm actually a woman. FML

#21525162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18100) - you deserved it (1093)

On 02/11/2016 at 1:12pm - health - by notaman (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came inside a girl's vagina by accident. Neither one of us wants her to be pregnant, and I had to spend half an hour with her sitting on my face, while I sucked my own cum out of her. I don't even know if this will work. FML

#21524955
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8166) - you deserved it (43345)

On 02/10/2016 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by nickncik (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, 9 years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late 20s. FML

#21517297
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19312) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/20/2016 at 7:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year old's heavily pregnant teacher pulled me aside and asked me to talk to my son about "boundaries". Apparently, he asked her if she was going to "boobie feed" him and listed a few reasons why she should and why formula is bad, in front of the entire class. FML

Today, my ex-boyfriend admitted the reason he broke up with me was because he cheated and felt awful about it. The girl is now pregnant, but he swears it isn't his. Guess we'll find out in a few months if my daughter has a sibling. FML

#21511205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21803) - you deserved it (2083)

On 01/03/2016 at 11:57pm - intimacy - by loko0909 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML

#21510846
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (1340)

On 01/03/2016 at 12:52am - health - by itchyyet - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my 15 year-old brother told us his girlfriend is pregnant. He was taught in his abstinence-only sex ed that condoms don't prevent pregnancy. My parents are blaming her pregnancy on me, for not telling him the truth about sex, because parents giving their kids the sex talk is "too awkward." FML

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

#21504934
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28873) - you deserved it (1804)

On 12/17/2015 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my step mom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a step mom. FML

#21502978
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22976) - you deserved it (1966)

On 12/12/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML

#21494835
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (2025)

On 11/20/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by notpregnantthankgod - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my friend and I were having a casual discussion about sex. Blowjobs came up and my friend said she'd never dared to give one, arguing that swallowing sperm can make you pregnant. I then had to go on with a 30 minute argument with her on how that's not possible. She's 26. FML

#21494508
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25956) - you deserved it (2030)

On 11/19/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LilPie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

#21493785
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (8729)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

#21493135
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29396) - you deserved it (2422)

On 11/16/2015 at 7:25am - love - by I Know How to Pick'em - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML

#21489448
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26695) - you deserved it (2893)

On 11/07/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was working out in the gym when a fitness trainer came up to me and said it wasn't safe to be exercising while this far along in a pregnancy. I was too ashamed to tell them that I'm not pregnant, so I went along with it. Time to find a new gym. FML

#21480577
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25684) - you deserved it (3940)

On 10/15/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by dramaqueen15 -



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