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FML with : baby

Number of results : 343

Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

#21400981
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32013) - you deserved it (3359)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:32am - love - by Groomzilla? - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

#21397871
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28606) - you deserved it (2124)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:31am - kids - by ireallylikecats - United States

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (4145)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

#21374972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28514) - you deserved it (2974)

On 03/15/2015 at 10:57am - health - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28473) - you deserved it (3764)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

#21359872
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (2509)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by all tweened out (man) - Canada

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (3195)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (2088)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

#21345623
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (2367)

On 01/28/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (3755)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39983) - you deserved it (2228)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML

#21328036
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (2198)

On 12/31/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Yeah-It's-Just-Me - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

#21322698
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38768) - you deserved it (4275)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:32pm - love - by both are dimwitted - United States (California)

Today, I asked my dad why we didn't have any baby pictures. His response was, "They got lost in the flood of '93." I was born in '95. FML

#21314190
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31279) - you deserved it (2414)

On 12/09/2014 at 12:45am - misc - by mn167109 (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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