FML with : boner

Number of results : 62

Today, I got grounded for having a boner when I woke up. FML

by nightjay / 07/11/2016 at 10:32am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

by unboned / 05/11/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 11:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML

by MrAries / 03/02/2016 at 6:45am / United States / Health

Today, for the seventh weekend in a row, I left my weekly visit with my long-distance boyfriend unsatisfied. Seems he enjoys getting shit-faced drunk more than he enjoys getting a boner. FML

by noO / 02/07/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

by notagoodtime / 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML

by Why / 01/29/2016 at 5:53pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

by Anonycock / 01/06/2016 at 12:15pm / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Work

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

by anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm / Switzerland (Zug) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when I actually had one, no one could tell. FML

by neilmalik / 10/21/2015 at 7:18am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 4:39am / Australia / Love

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

by sad-boing / 10/02/2015 at 5:01pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

by strangely / 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

by Boneo and Juliet / 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous