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FML with : pee

Number of results : 648

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9374) - you deserved it (544)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (3004)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

#21380308
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28078) - you deserved it (2142)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:19pm - misc - by jumanji (man) -

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31011) - you deserved it (6359)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

#21378092
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (3161)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm - love - by TooShortToCleanThat - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

#21374802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28939) - you deserved it (4083)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:23am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33495) - you deserved it (3319)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I found out my son likes to pee in the shower. He stated, "It's okay because dad pees in the sink!" I'm living with a bunch of bears. FML

#21363816
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (4788)

On 02/26/2015 at 6:24am - kids - by showerlover (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

#21355373
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (2057)

On 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm - work - by Anonynonynon (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML

#21353086
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28052) - you deserved it (4990)

On 02/09/2015 at 11:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

#21350702
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27695) - you deserved it (1908)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:16am - animals - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (4176)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

#21323779
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34376) - you deserved it (13409)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (3739)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28013) - you deserved it (6816)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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