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FML with : pee

Number of results : 620

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

#21231132
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37587) - you deserved it (2584)

On 08/06/2014 at 6:18pm - kids - by whymyroomthough (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

#21229021
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42394) - you deserved it (4182)

On 08/04/2014 at 1:42am - health - by Ew?Really? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37505) - you deserved it (4796)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40480) - you deserved it (6343)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21211) - you deserved it (49753)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33380) - you deserved it (20832)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

#21199175
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45642) - you deserved it (3776)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45347) - you deserved it (5097)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43093) - you deserved it (6106)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I entered my late twenties. My hair's falling out and I'm putting on weight at light speed. At least I can keep my youthful appearance with the acne I still suffer from. FML

#21163683
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40951) - you deserved it (4592)

On 06/05/2014 at 7:12am - misc - by hifhfan (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59327) - you deserved it (8433)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

#21149457
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42785) - you deserved it (14213)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49010) - you deserved it (6057)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States



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