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FML with : pee

Number of results : 705

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

#21515750
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19237) - you deserved it (1503)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

#21515486
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21801) - you deserved it (2190)

On 01/15/2016 at 5:56am - kids - by DatAss (woman) -

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

#21515142
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20459) - you deserved it (1582)

On 01/14/2016 at 10:05am - kids - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

#21513068
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19429) - you deserved it (1282)

On 01/09/2016 at 12:14am - kids - by orcatheseapanda (man) - Thailand

Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML

#21510493
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9904) - you deserved it (23039)

On 01/02/2016 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

#21509618
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21506) - you deserved it (1489)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

#21508071
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (1965)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm - money - by buttfingers (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a horrible smell only to realize that my dog had peed all over my leg cast during the night. I can't get another one because the closest doctors are all on Christmas vacation. Guess this is an early Christmas present from my dog. FML

#21506853
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (1746)

On 12/23/2015 at 10:15am - animals - by ChaoticGamer (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

#21503817
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23329) - you deserved it (4687)

On 12/14/2015 at 10:30pm - misc - by sarahrachel - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while I was driving, there was a high speed car chase. The runaway managed to avoid my car but the police didn't. FML

#21503640
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24195) - you deserved it (1589)

On 12/14/2015 at 12:21pm - misc - by pampa31 (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I discovered that I've spent so much time playing Sudoku in the bathroom at work that I've trained myself to need to pee whenever I open the app. FML

#21503111
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19388) - you deserved it (5476)

On 12/12/2015 at 11:40pm - misc - by sudoku_fiend - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while giving my final speech, a bump that had been growing on my arm popped. Pus leaked through my white dress sleeve, and it smelled like death. Everyone noticed. FML

#21501522
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (2348)

On 12/08/2015 at 3:24pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

#21500090
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (1335)

On 12/04/2015 at 5:17pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

#21496534
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML

#21494887
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12281) - you deserved it (27383)

On 11/20/2015 at 3:13pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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