FML with : pee

Number of results : 759

Today, not even 10 minutes into my job as a student teacher, I've had one student wipe boogers on me, another pee their pants, and a third won't stop crying for his mother. This is my first day. FML

by crazy_bananas / 08/22/2016 at 11:53am / United States / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a public toilet. I looked down and realised someone in the stall next to me was peeing on my foot underneath the divider. They didn't even attempt to aim for the toilet bowl. FML

by Anonymoose / 08/19/2016 at 4:06pm / Miscellaneous

Today, in an effort to try and get fit, I was doing yoga on my carpet when my foot slipped. It went under my radiator, which peeled the skin off my heel like peeling a potato. FML

by AlexB / 08/19/2016 at 3:01am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Health

Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML

by PeedMaPants / 08/15/2016 at 8:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Work

Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML

by FartMyLife / 08/11/2016 at 7:34am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I woke up to my husband peeing on the floor. He managed to pee in two open clothes drawers and on the pants I was going to wear to work tomorrow. Before I left earlier he promised he wouldn't get smashed tonight. FML

by PeeEverywhere / 08/11/2016 at 1:48am / Love

Today, I logged on to my Gmail account and to find that my brother had sent my math teacher a picture of Bigfoot peeing into a urinal. Using my account. FML

by Hey, thats not math!? / 08/09/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

by Never Again / 08/09/2016 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my boss told me to find the bad smell coming from the apartment we were working on. I found the bath tub about 4 inches high full of piss and spent the next hour bailing it out into a bucket because the drain wasn't connected yet. I have pee stain in all the wrong places. FML

by seanzynotfonzyehhhhh / 08/04/2016 at 1:16am / United States / Work

Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML

by nt121511 / 08/03/2016 at 6:40pm / Love

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

by slaughterteddy / 07/20/2016 at 7:23pm / United States / Health

Today, my mom figured that the best time to announce that I'm adopted was during her speech at my wedding. FML

by DidNotExpectThat / 07/18/2016 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find some really weird stuff in my bed. We just got back from vacation in Florida, and my husband burned really bad. I woke up to his peeled off skin all over my face. FML

by Dlpnlvr85 / 07/10/2016 at 2:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML

by stupidteacher / 07/05/2016 at 11:02am / China (Guizhou) / Work

Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML

by sickofthisshit / 07/02/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (California) / Work