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FML with : pee

Number of results : 660

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (9214)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

#21411283
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (2264)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a while after finishing and uploading a task, I looked at my peers' work to make sure I hadn't missed anything in mine. One of them had gotten the same idea and had decided to incorporate part of my work into his. "Part" as in "all". "All" as in all of his work is also all of mine. FML

#21409245
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25446) - you deserved it (2110)

On 05/12/2015 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (3362)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

#21403515
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28715) - you deserved it (4820)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm - misc - by Upside-Down Sleeper. - United States (Maryland)

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (2755)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

#21401319
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (1969)

On 04/28/2015 at 6:39pm - health - by full bladder - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30207) - you deserved it (2449)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

#21393386
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30268) - you deserved it (3250)

On 04/14/2015 at 4:33am - intimacy - by Lebac - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

#21384513
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24271) - you deserved it (2073)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (2317)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

#21383398
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25877) - you deserved it (2177)

On 03/29/2015 at 2:38am - misc - by Kryometric - United States (Washington)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32065) - you deserved it (1930)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26719) - you deserved it (3208)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)



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