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FML with : pee

Number of results : 635

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

#21323779
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (13306)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34464) - you deserved it (3733)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27956) - you deserved it (6802)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (6143)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

#21307515
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31638) - you deserved it (6729)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:27pm - work - by I'm so wet, baby - United Kingdom

Today, I realised I was far too attached to my duvet. Literally. I just got a large tattoo on my back, and my duvet somehow stuck to my skin during the night and formed part of the scab. I now have the joy of deciding whether to tear it off fast or peel it away slowly. FML

#21306764
65 comments

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30415) - you deserved it (3255)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

#21298320
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31619) - you deserved it (2847)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34541) - you deserved it (4397)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17035) - you deserved it (30729)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31999) - you deserved it (3788)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (15650)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35472) - you deserved it (9595)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (2394)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely. FML

#21256258
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17283) - you deserved it (46586)

On 09/11/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by hockusa3 - United States (Maryland)



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