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FML with : condom

Number of results : 133

Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML

#21509247
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20539) - you deserved it (3319)

On 12/30/2015 at 12:55am - intimacy - by wardsl195 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

#21502268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (2883)

On 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by pregnantapparently (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

#21497787
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/28/2015 at 9:32am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyfml (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while trying to calm down my four-year-old son who had a tantrum in a store, a man walked up to me and said, "You couldn't have worn the condom?" FML

#21476150
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22999) - you deserved it (5016)

On 10/04/2015 at 7:12pm - kids - by jshsnan - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between her teeth. I have no idea how she didn't feel it, but I couldn't stop fixating on it and started going soft. I had to cry out, fake an orgasm, then toss the condom really quickly to spare her feelings. FML

#21453082
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (6213)

On 08/07/2015 at 8:51am - intimacy - by horsefuck (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (2371)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

#21383831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39951) - you deserved it (2977)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42038) - you deserved it (3198)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (3181)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

#21299790
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37577) - you deserved it (5678)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by omgdesdes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43952) - you deserved it (8828)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47408) - you deserved it (4649)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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