Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : orgasm

Number of results : 111

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (9080)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35769) - you deserved it (23618)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML

#21168837
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45354) - you deserved it (8536)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

#21146226
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49019) - you deserved it (6404)

On 05/20/2014 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59619) - you deserved it (13534)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36887) - you deserved it (4320)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44942) - you deserved it (5113)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44865) - you deserved it (5563)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48112) - you deserved it (8026)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45684) - you deserved it (6286)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56153) - you deserved it (5986)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

#20852629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52550) - you deserved it (6938)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58865) - you deserved it (7476)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67298) - you deserved it (3979)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: