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FML with : fat

Number of results : 882

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

#21379134
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (152) - you deserved it (2395)

On 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by tobuscus9412 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met the perfect guy. He's sweet, funny, charming, a great kisser - the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as my father, last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of my dad. FML

#21378117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (3510)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent my father a text asking when he was finally coming to meet his 4-month-old granddaughter. His response? "I forgot." He forgot he has a granddaughter. FML

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

#21376642
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32201) - you deserved it (4198)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by Idigrespectfulattire (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, it is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. It's also the day my father chose to announce his engagement to the whole family. FML

#21373156
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36398) - you deserved it (2357)

On 03/12/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by EnglandRocks - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

#21372790
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (2134)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:50pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I showed my father a nice sweatshirt online, hoping he would take the hint and get it for me. He did, three sizes larger than mine, for himself. FML

#21371647
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26624) - you deserved it (7154)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:19am - money - by SkottLong - United States (Utah)

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

#21369082
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1) - you deserved it (23)

On 03/06/2015 at 1:18am - health - by UncleMonkey (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33795) - you deserved it (7946)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34775) - you deserved it (2085)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36909) - you deserved it (2604)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML

#21346352
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25609) - you deserved it (2105)

On 01/29/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34122) - you deserved it (2313)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (3390)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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