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FML with : fat

Number of results : 835

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

#21268173
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6087) - you deserved it (609) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm - kids - by super maman - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30360) - you deserved it (3119)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

#21265851
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30775) - you deserved it (3051)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by ihateguys (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48260) - you deserved it (10744)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35983) - you deserved it (11146)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

#21258420
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (2546)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42724) - you deserved it (15650)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML

Today, my boyfriend canceled his plans to attend my father's wake, not even 10 minutes after he found out there won't be any alcohol on offer. FML

#21253199
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (3445)

On 09/06/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

#21249110
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37533) - you deserved it (4670)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:27pm - kids - by TheFatOne - United States

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (8694)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35921) - you deserved it (2789)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41014) - you deserved it (3559)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35226) - you deserved it (3241)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35561) - you deserved it (2605)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)



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