FML with : fat

Number of results : 1021

Today, I was watching TV with my husband and my 5-year-old son. Everything was going fine until my son asked his father, “Why can’t mom know that you have another sweetheart?” FML

by Wanaaa / 11/25/2016 at 2:08am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, despite feeling healthier than ever, losing fat, gaining muscle and having perfect blood results, my morbidly obese relatives keep telling me that my new vegan diet is "unhealthy". FML

by ribx / 11/17/2016 at 6:24am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Health

Today, whilst taking a shower, I noticed my razor wasn't in its usual spot. Upon inspecting it closer, I noticed that there were tiny white hairs in it. When confronting my father about it, he claimed the "pink razors" are his. We've been sharing the same razor this entire time. FML

by pinkrazorsare4men / 11/15/2016 at 7:51pm / Miscellaneous

Today, while reading the newspaper, I noticed that an ad had been placed for my job. I asked my boss for a week off so that I could fly home for my father's funeral. No wonder she was so cool with it. FML

by Mitch / 11/07/2016 at 11:50pm / Work

Today, I helped my hoarder grandfather clean out his garage. Not only did I step on a nail, I also slipped in a puddle of used oil that's been sitting out for two years, and broke my nose. He didn't pay me since I wasn't able to finish the job. FML

by megamonster99 / 11/07/2016 at 10:06am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a letter from my landlord's attorney. It said my landlord is terminating my "verbal" lease with him. Ten years ago, the deal began as rent to own. My landlord is my grandfather. FML

by AboutToBeHomeless / 11/03/2016 at 9:16am / Money

Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML

by Deweyboy / 10/30/2016 at 12:23am / Health

Today my daughter asked me to do her a huge favor : undergo a liposuction transplantation where my fat would be sucked out then put into her butt and thighs. Apparently, I am the fattest DNA match to her, lessening the risk of her rejecting the transplant. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2016 at 12:37pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the 4th time a month ago. He is now back in prison. FML

by fox_at_heart / 09/29/2016 at 10:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, during a regular checkup at the dentist, I got a wisdom tooth pulled out which resulted in me looking like a fat hamster. Tomorrow is my first day as an English teacher in high school. FML

by toeloezz / 09/26/2016 at 2:02pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, my father threw out my $100 wedge of blue cheese because it "smelled funny". FML

by Cheese luv / 09/21/2016 at 12:55pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my grandfather is in the hospital. This would be a little easier to process if I hadn't found out through my sister's Instagram account. FML

by ginger_trelf / 09/05/2016 at 7:45pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my father's girlfriend is moving in with us. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend. FML

by MissMoonpie / 08/27/2016 at 8:21am / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was helping my Grandfather to sort through tubs and bins after cleaning out his attic, and I had to move a 50lb bin downstairs. That's when the dog thought it would be funny to block the top of the stairs as I was going down. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

by sillymink / 08/19/2016 at 10:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous