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FML with : fat

Number of results : 826

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

#21249110
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (3672)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:27pm - kids - by TheFatOne - United States

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28413) - you deserved it (6956)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33613) - you deserved it (2712)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39237) - you deserved it (3532)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34040) - you deserved it (3203)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34137) - you deserved it (2580)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44074) - you deserved it (4223)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you deserved it (3194)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

#21241880
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41386) - you deserved it (6829)

On 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46272) - you deserved it (3161)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44818) - you deserved it (3968)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

#21225316
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33862) - you deserved it (2878)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38375) - you deserved it (15764)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33294) - you deserved it (18211)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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