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FML with : fat

Number of results : 874

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32348) - you deserved it (7725)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34320) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36663) - you deserved it (2591)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML

#21346352
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (2099)

On 01/29/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (2079)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29370) - you deserved it (3386)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that every single picture that I have ever sent to my boyfriend, his father has also received. Every. Single. One. FML

#21337935
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (25934)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:43pm - love - by everysingleone - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (2589)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26228) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36952) - you deserved it (2467)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32796) - you deserved it (2395)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

#21327341
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23351) - you deserved it (4171)

On 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm - health - by insomniacap (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML



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