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FML with : fat
Number of results : 839
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML
Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML
Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML
Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML
Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML
Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML
Today, my boyfriend canceled his plans to attend my father's wake, not even 10 minutes after he found out there won't be any alcohol on offer. FML
Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML
Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML