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FML with : anal

Number of results : 51

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41635) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

#21330417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30480) - you deserved it (2160)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:52am - work - by boss stabber (man) - United States (California)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33643) - you deserved it (9884)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

#21295289
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34664) - you deserved it (3826)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:31am - misc - by analgirl (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (5725)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39591) - you deserved it (4987)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52873) - you deserved it (8356)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56795) - you deserved it (5418)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39622) - you deserved it (2734)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20492) - you deserved it (31115)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40495) - you deserved it (9540)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

#20806687
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52635) - you deserved it (4110)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by moms know best??? (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55146) - you deserved it (7763)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54782) - you deserved it (4471)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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