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FML with : anal

Number of results : 54

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

#21432392
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (7443)

On 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm - work - by very analytical (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29971) - you deserved it (3541)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (7902)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41897) - you deserved it (2521)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

#21330417
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (2169)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:52am - work - by boss stabber (man) - United States (California)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36619) - you deserved it (11419)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

#21295289
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (3835)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:31am - misc - by analgirl (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38860) - you deserved it (5735)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41193) - you deserved it (5191)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53013) - you deserved it (8375)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59321) - you deserved it (5650)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39748) - you deserved it (2742)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (31180)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40594) - you deserved it (9554)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)



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