FML with : blowjob

Number of results : 63

Today, I never thought I would see a blowjob from the perspective of the viewer, but it happened, in our open-space office. FML

by MrDanito / 04/28/2016 at 2:21am / Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj) / Intimacy

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2015 at 10:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

by anonymous / 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

by honk honk, fuckwad / 11/06/2015 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2015 at 12:39am / Intimacy

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

by fuck / 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

by bootyislife / 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy