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FML with : blowjob

Number of results : 42

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (17513)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43023) - you deserved it (6514)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

#21285558
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38114) - you deserved it (7625)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:25am - intimacy - by soisblueballsdickhead (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58127) - you deserved it (7224)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50469) - you deserved it (8707)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56477) - you deserved it (9078)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57219) - you deserved it (14986)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

#20605100
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42942) - you deserved it (6753)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46153) - you deserved it (8051)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37402) - you deserved it (5292)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (4301)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33582) - you deserved it (3181)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (7521)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35441) - you deserved it (8932)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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