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FML with : call of duty

Number of results : 687

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

#21461945
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2340) - you deserved it (111)

On 08/29/2015 at 12:29am - misc - by tkoester - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

#21461585
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13443) - you deserved it (2192)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:13am - health - by unsuckable (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

#21460430
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17862) - you deserved it (7651)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML

#21457409
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21785) - you deserved it (1498)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:30am - health - by jami898 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized how cheap I am when I blacked out at a water park and some one yelled "Call 911!" I tried to mutter out "No, that's too expensive!" FML

#21456805
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13199) - you deserved it (13689)

On 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm - health - by extremereviews - United States (Texas)

Today, I financed my first car. I also made my first call to AAA when it broke down. It barely had any miles on it and I wasn't even home yet. FML

#21456159
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19347) - you deserved it (1566)

On 08/14/2015 at 10:09pm - money - by BrandNewLemon - United States (California)

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

#21455147
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27482) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by Why Me - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

#21449035
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (2244)

On 07/29/2015 at 11:30am - money - by fukingtigans (man) - Croatia (Zadarska)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

#21447183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22864) - you deserved it (2414)

On 07/25/2015 at 8:22pm - love - by Lucachoo - United States (California)

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

#21446728
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12753) - you deserved it (23908)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm - work - by suspended (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

#21446464
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (1564)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:02am - work - by fishingforubies2 - Aruba

Today, I finally got up the courage to quit my first job. I spent hours determining the most professional way; the method, and the wording I would use. In the middle of the phone call, my manager hung up on me. FML

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

#21436559
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25191) - you deserved it (1924)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:04am - work - by jobless1 (man) -

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

#21435249
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (3266) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2015 at 12:30am - misc - by Smeagogole - France (Rhone-Alpes)



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