Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : call of duty

Number of results : 614

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12774) - you deserved it (2637)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (2406)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41811) - you deserved it (6085)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44480) - you deserved it (3965)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52131) - you deserved it (3625)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (44898)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46230) - you deserved it (14226)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44405) - you deserved it (7073)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a call from a friend asking why I didn't tell him I was engaged. I'm not, but I wish I was. Rumours about my life seem to be better than the reality. FML

#21188956
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41595) - you deserved it (4094)

On 06/26/2014 at 7:35am - love - by WhenRumoursAreBetterThanReality (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML

#21182417
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42498) - you deserved it (8779)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:04pm - misc - by secret meat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

#21180967
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50550) - you deserved it (6739)

On 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm - love - by forever alone - United States (New York)

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46893) - you deserved it (4461)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got yelled at by a customer while working at a bank call center. He was furious I apologized for a mistake that someone else had made. I again apologized for apologizing. FML

#21168093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34721) - you deserved it (4530)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:27am - work - by apologetic (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

#21165912
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42406) - you deserved it (12982)

On 06/07/2014 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - Australia



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: