Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : birthday

Number of results : 676

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

#21398382
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35462) - you deserved it (2314)

On 04/23/2015 at 8:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29371) - you deserved it (2408)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

#21390617
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31232) - you deserved it (2018)

On 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by gross - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

#21390121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (3726)

On 04/08/2015 at 5:17pm - misc - by Notre_Dame_714 - United States

Today, I spent my last $50 to get a ticket to take my daughter out for a nice birthday dinner tonight. It wasn't until after I purchased it that I realized the restaurant isn't even open on Mondays. FML

#21388611
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26371) - you deserved it (4746)

On 04/06/2015 at 12:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28891) - you deserved it (3095)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29424) - you deserved it (2678)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

#21379703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (31)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm - misc - by dicedicebaby - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

#21376642
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32406) - you deserved it (4205)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by Idigrespectfulattire (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

#21371753
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30486) - you deserved it (7247)

On 03/10/2015 at 9:27am - misc - by oh well - United States

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

#21369892
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (2950)

On 03/07/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML

#21367193
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (2321)

On 03/03/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by Hi-Tech (woman) - Europe

Today, my mom told me she'd canceled my spring break trip to Europe for my 16th birthday. Why? So I could get my wisdom teeth pulled 2 months early. FML

#21363900
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30326) - you deserved it (4675)

On 02/26/2015 at 11:18am - health - by gatewayev700 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

#21363530
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29629) - you deserved it (2370)

On 02/25/2015 at 8:43pm - animals - by natashamilan - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32548) - you deserved it (1910)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: