FML with : birthday

Number of results : 739

Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML

by Ya_I_said_it / 07/26/2016 at 11:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML

by Foreveralone / 07/22/2016 at 4:54am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

by Anonameow / 07/19/2016 at 9:49am / Animals

Today, my parents were supposed to take me out to eat for my birthday, but since their favorite child wasn't with us, I instead got a mini order of tots from Sonic as my birthday meal/present. FML

by Bestbirthday / 07/11/2016 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my friends woke me up on my birthday by spraying me with silly string. I have a job interview and it won't come out of my hair. FML

by anonymous / 07/07/2016 at 11:24am / United States / Work

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

by Bacon0426 / 07/04/2016 at 5:03pm / United States (New York) / Holidays

Today, I went to my friend's little brother's birthday party. A few of the younger kids were hitting me with a pool noodle, and I didn't really care until a 9-year-old loudly exclaimed, "Hit her in the pussy!" FML

by punmessiah / 07/04/2016 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up catching the kitchen on fire. FML

by nickorion12 / 06/28/2016 at 10:21am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML

by aishahahaha_ / 06/18/2016 at 8:34pm / Zambia (Lusaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm looking forward to my orthodontist's appointment more than I'm looking forward to my birthday. FML

by Ugh / 06/14/2016 at 4:41pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a job at a casino where I was actually planning on spending my 21st birthday next month. After they hired me, they told me no employees are allowed to play or gamble on or off the clock, for as long as they are employed there, or termination will immediately follow. FML

by bshoemaker45601 / 06/08/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, for the first time ever, one of my birthday wishes came true. I wished for my crush to come hang out with me, and she did. I wasted my birthday wish on an awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I tried having some girl time with my mom so I could sneakily figure out what to get her for her birthday. All I could think of in the end was a time machine, after her rant about wishing she'd gotten her tubes tied rather than going through the stress of raising me and my sister. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2016 at 10:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new upstairs neighbours sent away a package, telling the delivery guy that the person doesn't live there anymore. The package is a birthday present from my mother in-law, and it's been sent back twice now, even after talking to them and leaving a letter for them with my name on it. FML

Today, I worked up the courage to ask out the girl I liked. I got her a nice bracelet for her birthday and asked her on a date when I gave it to her. "Aww, you're so sweet!" was the response to the gift. Her response to the date proposal? "Wait, you aren't gay?" FML

by Failsafe / 05/09/2016 at 10:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Love