Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : fml

Number of results : 31129

Today, I found my dog drinking out of the toilet. My daughter was next to him, also drinking from the toilet. FML

#21464273
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (654) - you deserved it (74)

On 09/03/2015 at 9:06pm - kids - by whoevenncares - United States

Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML

#21464255
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2443) - you deserved it (609)

On 09/03/2015 at 7:31pm - love - by bestgirlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

#21464212
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4352) - you deserved it (286)

On 09/03/2015 at 5:14pm - animals - by Imissyou (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to complete a simple math problem to submit a web form in order to show that I wasn't a spam robot. I got it wrong. I'm officially too bad at arithmetic to prove I'm human. FML

#21464190
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4856) - you deserved it (2102)

On 09/03/2015 at 4:14pm - misc - by stupidrobot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to create another signature. I have to use one at the bank and the other around my mother, so that when she tries to cash my paychecks the bank won't let her. FML

#21464185
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12570) - you deserved it (724)

On 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Why - United States (California)

Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML

#21464117
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11227) - you deserved it (1551)

On 09/03/2015 at 12:30pm - misc - by kp - United States

Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML

#21463971
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15376) - you deserved it (1141)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:37pm - work - by ihatemyjob - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

#21463927
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14708) - you deserved it (1224)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16819) - you deserved it (945)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

#21463887
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15754) - you deserved it (1575)

On 09/02/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by girl on fire (woman) -

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

#21463837
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15975) - you deserved it (1181)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Hooty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

#21463835
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13012) - you deserved it (1985)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:39pm - animals - by Shay (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

#21463833
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15327) - you deserved it (1341)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:37pm - misc - by BeerSlut (woman) - Portugal (Vila Real)

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump. She turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

#21463826
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15619) - you deserved it (974)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

#21463801
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15628) - you deserved it (1539)

On 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm - misc - by Alan (man) - Germany



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: