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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FML with : fml

Number of results : 27870

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2735) - you deserved it (691)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

#21268375
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2828) - you deserved it (191)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm - health - by Tampax - Spain (Castilla-La Mancha)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2978) - you deserved it (265)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

#21268173
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15856) - you deserved it (1711) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm - kids - by super maman - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9839) - you deserved it (15467)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

#21267816
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17164) - you deserved it (2643)

On 09/29/2014 at 6:04pm - love - by inmycar - United States (New York)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (2189)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

#21267650
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (2476)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:48pm - health - by impure - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML

#21267623
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23487) - you deserved it (3780)

On 09/29/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22715) - you deserved it (2692)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (3477)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23002) - you deserved it (2504)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, I waited for over an hour in a park for a date who didn't show up. I finally left because someone came up to me and accused me of creeping on their kids. FML

#21267321
60 comments

Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML

#21267195
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/28/2014 at 6:55pm - love - by superman21 - Ireland

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23833) - you deserved it (2694)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)



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