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Number of results : 27634

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (886) - you deserved it (70)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife thought it'd be hilarious to move all of our furniture two inches to the left as a prank to make me stub my toes. I'm pretty sure I've now banged the furniture more than I have my wife. FML

#21249869
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1036) - you deserved it (108)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:16pm - misc - by chairbanger (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my hamster got loose from his cage. His name was Houdini. FML

#21249788
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17570) - you deserved it (4573)

On 09/01/2014 at 2:55pm - animals - by Houdini - United States (Texas)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17757) - you deserved it (1443)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

#21249670
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17478) - you deserved it (2969)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11515) - you deserved it (20715)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30087) - you deserved it (2219)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28457) - you deserved it (2804)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25386) - you deserved it (1851)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (1714)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

#21249182
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23202) - you deserved it (1583)

On 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm - work - by Happy Employee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

#21249110
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28169) - you deserved it (3474)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:27pm - kids - by TheFatOne - United States

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34172) - you deserved it (2783)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I felt so overwhelmed by all the kids in my house that I sat in the bathroom alone for a while to get some peace. I sat on the toilet for so long that I started to pee, realizing too late that the seat was down, and that I was also quite overdressed for the occasion. FML

#21249067
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25258) - you deserved it (7824)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by SunshineSquared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you deserved it (2352)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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