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Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

#21304063
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (754) - you deserved it (131)

On 11/22/2014 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

#21303975
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (750) - you deserved it (73)

On 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (748) - you deserved it (52)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13462) - you deserved it (1380)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12026) - you deserved it (1385)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12520) - you deserved it (1339)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

#21303728
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17020) - you deserved it (1905)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16893) - you deserved it (4522)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16498) - you deserved it (1757)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16044) - you deserved it (1597)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16551) - you deserved it (3880)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17564) - you deserved it (1272)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (3119)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (4785)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, I realized that having an open relationship isn't all that great, when my boyfriend hooked up with his ex and dumped me for her. FML

#21303284
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19478) - you deserved it (11789)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:56am - love - by openended - United States (California)



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