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FML with : fml

Number of results : 32643

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

#21523696
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2020) - you deserved it (118)

On 02/07/2016 at 2:03pm - misc - by Asian - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

#21523681
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3965) - you deserved it (245)

On 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by OhDearGodGrandad (man) - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, for the seventh weekend in a row, I left my weekly visit with my long-distance boyfriend unsatisfied. Seems he enjoys getting shit-faced drunk more than he enjoys getting a boner. FML

#21523668
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3579) - you deserved it (481)

On 02/07/2016 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by noO (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

#21523607
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9960) - you deserved it (3468)

On 02/07/2016 at 4:17am - intimacy - by weirdoe (man) - Italy (Sicilia)

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

#21523593
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10203) - you deserved it (713)

On 02/07/2016 at 2:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML

#21523579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12894) - you deserved it (645)

On 02/07/2016 at 1:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my university had not accepted the internship I did when I was in college. They placed me in the same bank I interned in, with the same bank manager that I flipped the middle finger at after finishing my internship. FML

#21523525
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8017) - you deserved it (15639)

On 02/06/2016 at 10:36pm - work - by FailingMyCourse - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

#21523419
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15042) - you deserved it (2543)

On 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by notagoodtime - United States (California)

Today, after a snowstorm my son decided that boarding off the roof onto my truck would be fun. My truck now has a puncture wound. The same truck that drove him to the hospital for his puncture wound and broken arm. FML

#21523317
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13597) - you deserved it (1147)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:56am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

#21523316
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12951) - you deserved it (1218)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:42am - animals - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it's been five days since I started my new job in a new town, just signed a lease on my new apartment too. Now I find out the company's closing down, and since I'm still on probation, I'm told I'm not entitled to any kind of severance. FML

#21523276
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15332) - you deserved it (1211)

On 02/06/2016 at 1:28am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

#21523269
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10943) - you deserved it (8437)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandma got drunk, tried to change the TV channel with my Xbox controller, and slurred at me to fuck off when I told her it wasn't the remote. She pulls this kind of crap way too often. FML

#21523258
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13207) - you deserved it (960)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:04am - misc - by sick of this shit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

#21523219
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16768) - you deserved it (1263)

On 02/05/2016 at 10:24pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my step-mom that my medication is causing me to lose weight. She looked me up and down and suggested I triple my dosage. FML

#21523215
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (1506)

On 02/05/2016 at 10:11pm - misc - by cuntingbitchofawhore - United States (Indiana)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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