Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : sex

Number of results : 1414

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17575) - you deserved it (1342)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25748) - you deserved it (7087)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (4056)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35321) - you deserved it (4367)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13938) - you deserved it (21495)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (2039)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

#21280130
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28435) - you deserved it (7914)

On 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by melissa1028 (woman) - United States

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36238) - you deserved it (5145)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (2998)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32965) - you deserved it (4491)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35916) - you deserved it (4037)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32096) - you deserved it (4484)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31714) - you deserved it (3341)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: