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FML with : sex

Number of results : 1568

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3915) - you deserved it (5481)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20222) - you deserved it (5752)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

#21447824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (4360)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:43am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

#21447742
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22625) - you deserved it (2317)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by wot02 (woman) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my neighbor. He asked me if I wanted to play Twister, and I said no because I thought it would be weird. What was his response? "C'mon. You can leave if it gets sexual". FML

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

#21446247
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (9057)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by stargate25 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26833) - you deserved it (7246)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29189) - you deserved it (3802)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML

#21442664
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (6153)

On 07/16/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by jealousgirl - United Kingdom

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

#21441357
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23735) - you deserved it (19524)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:03am - intimacy - by EternalBlossom (woman) - United States

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

#21438922
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (8536)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:20am - intimacy - by who_cares - United States (California)

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25671) - you deserved it (2845)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (3713)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

#21432333
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25207) - you deserved it (1974)

On 06/26/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Zambia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML



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