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FML with : sex

Number of results : 1411

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

#21283235
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6159) - you deserved it (1906)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:30pm - love - by Sansa (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (2586)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11149) - you deserved it (17404)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (1796)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

#21280130
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27613) - you deserved it (7706)

On 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by melissa1028 (woman) - United States

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35286) - you deserved it (5004)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33436) - you deserved it (2960)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32456) - you deserved it (4448)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35519) - you deserved it (4027)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31706) - you deserved it (4464)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31407) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35707) - you deserved it (4852)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

#21275167
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35506) - you deserved it (2828)

On 10/10/2014 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by housewiththinwalls - Sweden

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33619) - you deserved it (3171)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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