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FML with : sex

Number of results : 1495

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20655) - you deserved it (2085)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18438) - you deserved it (1716)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21351) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (2573)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (4662)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Even after several hours I wasn't able to climax. My girlfriend now thinks that I don't like her body, and the reason I couldn't orgasm is because I don't like having sex with her. We spend the rest of the night in silence. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34731) - you deserved it (4929)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

#21354562
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31458) - you deserved it (2752)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Mkimmi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

#21353290
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (17662)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML

#21352626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33546) - you deserved it (3481)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:32am - intimacy - by myself - United States

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33519) - you deserved it (3407)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42938) - you deserved it (2734)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45992) - you deserved it (3754)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

#21351173
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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