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FML with : sex

Number of results : 1344

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (2390)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30617) - you deserved it (7277)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32289) - you deserved it (8352)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34437) - you deserved it (6502)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (5147)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42747) - you deserved it (3758)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35443) - you deserved it (3521)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43984) - you deserved it (5230)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

#21112140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37453) - you deserved it (4177)

On 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by -.- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (2625)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40638) - you deserved it (5725)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36937) - you deserved it (27867)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

#21099601
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35453) - you deserved it (3746)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm - work - by ohdear. (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

#21091327
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35115) - you deserved it (4710)

On 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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