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FML with : sex

Number of results : 1540

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12569) - you deserved it (1818)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

#21414914
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15397) - you deserved it (1364)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

#21413990
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26834) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm - intimacy - by Vexatious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (2528)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML

#21412386
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (4317)

On 05/19/2015 at 2:45am - intimacy - by username - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

#21411735
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (3905)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

#21410853
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28810) - you deserved it (2729)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML

#21410043
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (2651)

On 05/14/2015 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by semokco (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

#21408378
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (4749)

On 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

#21407745
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (5419)

On 05/10/2015 at 11:35am - intimacy - by YouDontSay (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend's mum publicly shamed him on Facebook after she caught him having sex under her roof today. Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm over 300 miles away right now. FML

#21407667
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35996) - you deserved it (2000)

On 05/10/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18204) - you deserved it (34388)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

#21406460
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29310) - you deserved it (7363)

On 05/07/2015 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by Bonnie and Clyde - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

#21405555
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (2802)

On 05/06/2015 at 8:50am - love - by anon - United States (Kansas)



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